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Thursday, June 28, 2012

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

Today was SUCH a special day. I am overwhelmed by all of the nice messages, texts, emails and phone calls I have received from my friends and family. I am so blessed. I am so grateful for everyone who is following my blog and who have supported Tyson and I as we have been on this crazy, emotional, physically exhausting, special, testimony building, and FUN adventure! I honestly do not know the person I would be today, if I did not experience infertility for the past 3 and a half years. 

First, I want to apologize to everyone for keeping it a secret for so long! We didn't even tell our families we were implanting. I feel like every person has that dream. The dream where they get to make a big announcement and have it be a total surprise! Whether it is an announcement that you are engaged or that you got a promotion, or whether it is news that you are moving or won a big award! When something exciting happens, you want to have that special moment of announcing it. WELL - that is why we did not tell anyone we were implanting. Going through these treatments, everyone has really known everything that we have gone through and everything I have been diagnosed with along the way. So, when we went to the doctor for a check up and Dr. Shapiro said that everything looked good... we decided we would do it! We would implant our cute embryos and we would do it without anybody knowing, so we could have that special moment of announcing a little surprise! :) Let me tell you - it was so hard keeping a secret! You all know I love to talk and I love to share EVERYTHING that is going on in my life at all times, so it was very hard for me. I have to admit now though, that today made it totally worth it. I am so glad we got to make our special announcement a TRULY special  one. 

On May 3, 2012 we pulled up to The Fertility Center of Las Vegas. I was SO excited. I had a feeling that I honestly cannot explain. It was a feeling of comfort and peace, mixed in with nerves. This was a moment that Tyson and I had waited for. We were finally implanting 2 of our embryos, with very high hopes to become parents! They had me put on that really cute hospital gown again with the blue hat to cover my head. I could not stop shaking. I am not sure if I was truly freezing cold or if my nerves had just taken over my body. They wheeled me into the operation room, where I laid for a few minutes. That is when Tyson walked into the room. With his hospital shoes and cap on, I couldn't help but fall more in love with him. He looked so cute. Here I was, going through one of the most important things in my whole life - and my best friend was right by my side. He smiled so big and was so excited... here was his chance to become a dad! I said a silent prayer to myself, thanking Heavenly Father for the opportunity that I had to be in that very room with my sweet husband next to me and a knowledgable doctor in front of me. Dr. Shapiro looked us in the eyes several times asking if we were sure we wanted to implant 2 and we just continued saying yes! Doctor only wanted to put in one, but I had a feeling for several weeks that we were supposed to put in 2. 
After the procedure, they wheeled me into recovery room where I had to lay flat and still for 30 minutes. There really wasn't much I could do at this point, but hope and pray with all of my heart that the babies would attach! We went home and I was on bed rest for 5 days. I actually had a great time relaxing, but by Day 5 I was over my house and could NOT wait to go back to work. We were not supposed to find out until Mothers Day if the embryos attached, but on Day 6, my levels were so high that they knew I was pregnant! In fact, they thought with twins! 

I was beyond excited. I cried and cried... and cried some more. After going through 8 rounds of clomid, 1 failed IUI, 2 cancelled IUIs, 3 surgeries, 1 MRI, countless testing, daily shots, and now IVF - our prayers had been answered! The most important thing in my life, my number one goal, the thing I have dedicated my life to for almost 4 years... was coming to pass! "I AM PREGNANT" I just kept telling myself. I honestly could not believe it. I still can't. 

I could not wait to tell Tyson so I called him immediately. To celebrate that night I put together a little baby menu with all of the options to eat having to do with babies. It was such a fun night. We were full of complete joy. We said a lot of thank you prayers that night! I felt the spirit in our home so strongly. We had been blessed. 





It has not been an easy rode since then. I have had quite a few scares and a lot of ups and downs. We learned we were pregnant with just one baby, not twins... but we're SO excited that we have 1 healthy one! That is all we have been asking for. Luckily, the doctors have been keeping a close watch on me and everything is doing wonderful. We have seen our little blessing 5 times (we are 11 weeks along) now through ultrasounds and every time I truly experience the greatest joy. I never knew I could fall in love so quickly. The baby is all I think about or care about and I am not sure if that will ever change for the rest of my life! 
I honestly have so much to be grateful for. I want everyone to know that I truly know that miracles happen. I wrote in a few posts back that I was told almost 10 years ago that I would not be able to have children and if I did, it would be very difficult. Well I am so happy to say, that ANYTHING can happen. Never let anyone tell you something can't happen. I know that with God, nothing is impossible. 

My journey is not over and my trials are NOT complete. I know that this pregnancy is not going to be perfect, as it already hasn't been. I know that hard times will come my way and I will need to continue in prayer and faith. I love that this blog has brought me so close to so many people. We all have different trials, some much harder than others. I am grateful for the inspiration everyone is to me and who have helped me get to where I am today. I want anyone who is struggling with infertility to know that anything is possible. Sometimes it takes a lot of work and a lot of patience. It takes time and sometimes a lot money. It takes a pure dedication. But I know, if you want it - you will get it! Heavenly Father always keeps his promises. 

I want anyone else to know, who isn't going through infertility, but maybe a different trial - that everything works out. No matter what your religion, prayer is real. I KNOW that Heavenly Father hears and answers EVERY single one of our prayers. Sometimes I got really frustrated because my prayers weren't being answered right away and on my time table. It took almost 4 years for this prayer to be answered and I wouldn't have it any other way. Hard times will continue to come, but we will be blessed because of it. 

I am excited to continue on with this journey. I am excited to have a patient and loving husband by my side. He is going to be the BEST dad in the world!!! He has been so patient with me as we have gone through this. Not to mention - didn't he make such a great video for our announcement?! He is amazing. I am glad I get to share these special moments with him.