The weirdest thing in life is when you have a plan and you slowly see your plan NOT coming to pass. Does that happen to anyone besides me? I feel like my whole entire life has been like that. I have a set plan and I just KNOW with all of my heart it is going to go exactly how I have planned and then that day comes. That day when something happens that turns my plan upside-down completely. It has happened a LOT in my life and it definitely continues...almost daily. If I have learned anything the past 25 years of life, it is to roll with the punches. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Even if that "thing" was not anywhere on our time line!
As I mentioned in a few posts back, they found tears in my placenta and I was put on full bed rest for one week. I then went to work for a week while on "semi-bed rest" and then they put me on full bed rest last Monday. I had a really hard time last Monday when I got into my car and looked at the letter Dr. Bohman had written to my employer. "Danielle Davis is to be excused from work for the REMAINDER OF HER PREGNANCY due to complications." I think I read the letter 10 times. It could not sink in! Bed Rest? For 5 months? I seriously started crying in the car. I told Tyson I couldn't do it. THIS was not part of my plan! My plan was to work until the day Baby D was due and to save all of our money over the next 6 months from my paychecks and bonus's. I think the doctor is confused, I told Tyson. There is no way I can be bed ridden for that long. If you know me personally, you know I am very outgoing and can not stand not having a social life. I love my job and I love having my girl time. I love date nights and going on fun adventures with Tyson. I love Summer and the vacations we have had planned. This was just a dream or a mean joke... I just knew it!
I told Tyson I wasn't going to listen to the doctor. I told him I was going to work because that was MY plan. We pulled out of the parking lot of the doctor's office and we began driving. I just went on and on about how this was not a good idea and Tyson was a good listener to my ranting. After much conversation and we pulled into Tyson's work parking lot for him to be dropped off, we had come to the conclusion that the doctor INDEED did know best. Even though bed rest for the rest of my LIFE (at least that is what it feels like) was not at all in our plans during this pregnancy, we had to roll with the punches. I sat in Tyson's parking lot and called my boss. I told him the news and he was so understanding. I am so grateful to have a boss who cares about my well-being and my baby. He told me not to come in and that we will figure out the paper work that had to be done.
The next day there were a lot of phone calls and paper work to be filled out. I put on my leave of absence papers that I were to return to work on September 4th... that gives my body 4 weeks to heal. I felt like that was acceptable. That was when I got a call from HR who let me know I put September 4th, but my doctor put January 17, 2013 and they had to go with what the doctor put. That was when it sunk in. THIS is real. I don't really think I am going to be able to go back to work. THAT was when I became upset.
I called Tyson and told him how frustrated I was. The past 3 weeks I have had such high hopes that I was going to be able to get off bed rest sooner than January and it seems like that is probably not the case. I layed in my bed and felt SO sorry for myself for a few minutes and that was when I realized I needed to pick myself up. Are you serious right now? I am upset about being on bed rest for a few months? I wasn't looking at my blessings! I was so focused on this one little thing, that I didn't focus on the amazing blessings... specifically the miracle who's heart is beating inside of me!!
I am SO grateful to be pregnant. After so many trials and hard times to get to this point, I am beyond blessed. I have a sweet baby girl that is growing a healthy little body inside of me! I have a home that I get to spend all day in, with air conditioning and television and internet and books! I have the most comfortable bed in the world and if I have to lay down, I am so lucky I get to lay down in something so comfy! I have food in my refrigerator that I get to eat when I am hungry and can't drive to the grocery store! I have a husband who takes care of EVERYTHING in my life 24/7 and loves me even though I don't do ANYTHING! I have amazing friends and family who have visited, brought in meals and just contacted me to see how Baby D and I are doing! I have so much to be thankful for! The doctor told me that I can either go back to work now and be admitted into the hospital at 25 weeks (which is less than 2 months away!!) or I can go on bed rest now and hope that everything clears up. How lucky am I?! They caught this soon enough that I get to lay in my own bed, in my own home! I am SO grateful I don't have to live in the hospital.
Even though things happen in our lives that seem a little crazy and almost the exact OPPOSITE that we had planned, happen for reasons. I know that a lot of times Heavenly Father's plan is not what we had planned...and I have slowly learned that THAT IS OKAY! There truly is a time and a season for everything. For some reason, I wasn't supposed to be a mom 4 years ago, when that was my plan my whole life... to get married and have tons of babies! For some reason, I was supposed to start a great career and become a career woman at a beautiful hotel, even though my plan was to be a stay at home mom and take care of all of my babies I was supposed to have! For some reason, I am supposed to be on bed rest and lay at my house and not work or go on the vacations we have had planned, even though my plan was to work so hard and make all of the money in the world for this baby! I know that there is a reason for everything, even if we don't see the reason immediately. I feel SO blessed to have been able to learn this and to KNOW that it is true. He loves us and His plan is far better than ours.
" To every a aseason, and a btime to every purpose under the heaven: A atime to be born, and a time to bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;laugh; a time to bmourn, and a time to dance;A time to weep, and a time to aA time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to arend, and a time to sew; a time to keep bsilence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace."