Over one year ago I was really struggling! I found myself sad and upset pretty often. I was extremely jealous of "everyone" being pregnant and having babies. It was then when Tyson gave me the idea of creating this blog. He thought it would be a good idea for me to write down my feelings and to share it with my friends. After much discussion, I decided it was a good idea (he always has good ideas!) and began this blog. I am SO grateful he encouraged me to do this... it has helped me overcome the hardest trial that I have had to endure in my life.
I started this blog for me. It was a way for me to express my feelings and was a personal journal of my journey to become a mom. With each post I wrote, I had more and more friends, co-workers, old classmates, acquaintances and even strangers contact me and show their support as Tyson and I went through the Invitro process. I want to thank each and every one of you for your love and prayers throughout this journey. Your support was incredible and your kind words touched me so much. I know that this process would not have been as positive without all of you! This blog changed my life. You changed my life. This will be my final post on this blog as our journey to become parents has come to an end. I hope to keep it open and available to anyone who has to go through a trial similar to ours. I hope it touches others and gives each person that reads it HOPE. The hope that anything is possible!
I know I have only been a mom now for three weeks and I am not an expert. I know I have a lot to learn and this is only the beginning of another crazy adventure! But I do know a few things and wanted to leave these final thoughts as this blog comes to an end...
I KNOW that miracles happen. I hope that you never give up on what you want and that you never take no for an answer. I KNOW that trials do end. Sometimes it feels like there is not a light at the end of the tunnel, but there sure is. I KNOW that being a mom is the greatest blessing that I could have asked for. I will be forever grateful for Laila and the pure joy she has brought into my life. I will never take her for granted because I know what my life was like without her. I HOPE that we will always hold our families close. I couldn't have gone through this without my best friend and husband, Tyson. Nor could we have gone through this without our families. Families are so important and I truly believe that trials can make or break us. I am grateful we chose to have this trial MAKE our family. We will always have a bond unlike any other because of this experience. I KNOW that prayers are answered and that Heavenly Father loves us more than we can imagine. Holding Laila in my arms the first time was indescribable. It was at that moment when I felt the overwhelming love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I would do absolutely anything for Laila and I know that that love I have for her is the same love He has for us.
Dr. Bohman talked to Tyson and I the other day and gave us some of the greatest advice that I will always remember. You could feel as he spoke to us, the love he has for his own family. He simply said, "Stop and smell the roses." He expressed how time goes by so quickly and how we should treasure these special moments. He said that our hobbies will soon become Laila's hobbies, or her hobbies will soon become ours actually. That family time, should be all the time and that we should do as much as we can together. He also said to enjoy! Our lives have forever been changed.
I hope we all take time to smell the roses. Through each trial that comes into our lives, I hope we endure it to the best of our ability and to know that it will pass. Enjoy the now!
"Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” ... Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows." - President Thomas S. Monson