The Blog Continues!

I have had so much support about this blog, I have decided to continue writing about my journey of being a MOM! It has been such a blessing and I am excited to share special tips, daily deals and fun ideas of things to do with babies and toddlers on my new blog...Making Every Day, The Best Day. Please follow me and my family onto our next journey at www.todaysthebestday.com .

A Final Thought

Over one year ago I was really struggling! I found myself sad and upset pretty often. I was extremely jealous of "everyone" being pregnant and having babies. It was then when Tyson gave me the idea of creating this blog. He thought it would be a good idea for me to write down my feelings and to share it with my friends. After much discussion, I decided it was a good idea (he always has good ideas!) and began this blog. I am SO grateful he encouraged me to do this... it has helped me overcome the hardest trial that I have had to endure in my life. 

I started this blog for me. It was a way for me to express my feelings and was a personal journal of my journey to become a mom. With each post I wrote, I had more and more friends, co-workers, old classmates, acquaintances and even strangers contact me and show their support as Tyson and I went through the Invitro process. I want to thank each and every one of you for your love and prayers throughout this journey. Your support was incredible and your kind words touched me so much. I know that this process would not have been as positive without all of you! This blog changed my life. You changed my life. This will be my final post on this blog as our journey to become parents has come to an end. I hope to keep it open and available to anyone who has to go through a trial similar to ours. I hope it touches others and gives each person that reads it HOPE. The hope that anything is possible! 

I know I have only been a mom now for three weeks and I am not an expert. I know I have a lot to learn and this is only the beginning of another crazy adventure! But I do know a few things and wanted to leave these final thoughts as this blog comes to an end... 

I KNOW that miracles happen. I hope that you never give up on what you want and that you never take no for an answer. I KNOW that trials do end. Sometimes it feels like there is not a light at the end of the tunnel, but there sure is. I KNOW that being a mom is the greatest blessing that I could have asked for. I will be forever grateful for Laila and the pure joy she has brought into my life. I will never take her for granted because I know what my life was like without her. I HOPE that we will always hold our families close. I couldn't have gone through this without my best friend and husband, Tyson. Nor could we have gone through this without our families. Families are so important and I truly believe that trials can make or break us. I am grateful we chose to have this trial MAKE our family. We will always have a bond unlike any other because of this experience. I KNOW that prayers are answered and that Heavenly Father loves us more than we can imagine. Holding Laila in my arms the first time was indescribable. It was at that moment when I felt the overwhelming love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I would do absolutely anything for Laila and I know that that love I have for her is the same love He has for us. 

Dr. Bohman talked to Tyson and I the other day and gave us some of the greatest advice that I will always remember. You could feel as he spoke to us, the love he has for his own family. He simply said, "Stop and smell the roses." He expressed how time goes by so quickly and how we should treasure these special moments. He said that our hobbies will soon become Laila's hobbies, or her hobbies will soon become ours actually. That family time, should be all the time and that we should do as much as we can together. He also said to enjoy! Our lives have forever been changed. 

I hope we all take time to smell the roses. Through each trial that comes into our lives, I hope we endure it to the best of our ability and to know that it will pass. Enjoy the now! 

"Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” ^... Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."  - President Thomas S. Monson 

Great Things are Worth Waiting For... from Tyson Davis on Vimeo.

GREAT THINGS ARE WORTH WAITING FOR

On Saturday, January 5, 2013 I woke up to a familiar pain. It was the same pain that I had felt 14 weeks ago when I was going into pre-term labor. I felt like something was not right, but did not want to go to the hospital. My worst nightmare throughout the pregnancy was to go to the hospital and for them to send me home. I decided to text Dr. Bohman and ask him for advice. He advised me to go to the hospital, just to get checked. Tyson, my mom and I drove to St. Rose San Martin Hospital, where I was hooked up to a monitor for a few hours. I was dialated to a 2, contracting every 5-8 minutes and baby sounded good. They classified this as early labor. The contractions were not getting more intense, so they advised for me to go home and come back the following day to do a stress test on the baby. Because I had been contracting for 2 weeks now, they wanted to be sure it was not irritating her. 

On Sunday, January 6, 2013 we hopped back in the car and drove to the hospital for more monitoring. I was still dialated to a 2, contracting every 5-8 minutes and baby sounded good. They released me to go home and said I was now in active labor and to come back if the contractions became more intense. When we got home I texted Dr. Bohman and let him know what the hospital had said. That was when he decided to do an emergency c-section that night. He felt that I had been contracting for so long, I was not dialating, baby was not dropping and I was going to have to have a c-section whether we waited or not, so we should pull the baby immediately for the interest of mine and hers health. It was 2pm and he scheduled the c-section for 5pm. He told me to pack my bags and to meet him there. 

I freaked out! I was going to be a mom! My dream was coming true! Tyson and our friend Jeff gave me a blessing before we left. I am so grateful for the Priesthood and for the words Tyson said as he laid his hands upon my head. I was so comforted and knew that everything was going to be okay. We grabbed our bags and carseat and hopped back in the car.

We arrived at the hospital and I was so nervous! We checked in at the front desk and they gave me a cute gown to wear. I was hooked up to the very familiar monitor that I had been connected to for the past 2 days and they started my IV. Soon the doctor arrived and it was time. Tyson and I hugged our moms goodbye as we walked into the Operation Room and they went into the Waiting Room with the rest of our family.

They gave me my spinal epidural and laid me on the table. It was cold and I had the shakes pretty bad. The room was full of nurses and doctors. Tyson held my hand as they put the blue curtain up and began the operation.

The doctor began the incision and was successfully able to go through the first three layers. When he got to the fourth layer, my muscle was not effected by the epidural. I could actually FEEL them cutting me. It hurt SO bad. I said, "OW, that really hurts!" and they replied that I should only feel tugging and pulling, not pain. That was when I replied, "I can feel pain. That HURTS..." The last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist saying, "Okay dad, she is going to get really loopy and not remember anything from here on out." They put an oxygen mask on me...and I was OUT!

That was when I went to heaven. I know it sounds weird and people laugh when I say it, but I truly felt like I was in heaven. I remember being very confused and didn't know where I was or what I was doing. I felt like I was dying and I was really fighting it. Finally a light appeared and I decided to just go towards it. I was letting go and didn't care if I was dying anymore. Right when I relaxed, I heard the doctors voice. I wasn't dead. I was in a hospital. I asked, "Where is my husband?" and they replied, "He is with your baby!" and I said, "My baby is inside of me..." and they replied, "Your baby was born 20 minutes ago. You are all done, Danielle. You did great!"

Laila Marlie Davis was born at 5:18pm, weighing 8lbs 4oz and 19 inches long.

It was hard to comprehend what they were saying at this point. In the video below you will see the doctor show the baby over the curtain... I do not remember that. You will also see me kiss my baby for the first time... I do not remember that. At first I was sad that I had missed these special moments of being a mom and the first breath my baby took, but now I am just so grateful she is healthy and here. It doesn't matter how she got here... SHE IS HERE!

I soon went into the Recovery Room where I slowly woke up. Dr. Bohman came in and showed me a picture of my sweet Laila. Tears filled my eyes as I saw my miracle for the first time. The doctor wiped my tears as I fell in love with my baby girl. I couldn't wait to see her in person.

Tyson soon came in with the baby and they placed her in my arms. Words cannot describe the overwhelming feeling of love that I felt for her immediately. The dream that I had for so many years, was a reality. I was holding MY baby in MY arms. She was absolutely perfect in every way. Her skin was so soft with perfect in coloring. Her fingers and toes were perfectly small. The way she looked at me with her blue eyes melted my heart. I could not stop crying as I held her in my arms. She is my miracle.

The family soon left for the night and it was just Tyson, Laila and I. We were a family and it felt so good. I watched as Tyson held her in his arms next to the window. His eyes filled up with tears as he held her in our quiet room. We cried together as we held our sweet girl. I loved that moment and I will remember it forever. Tyson has waited so long to be a dad and has had so much patience as we have endured this trial of infertility. He is seriously the perfect dad and husband! I could not have asked for a better best friend and companion to go through this with. He changes her diapers, swaddles like a champion, gets up with her at night, holds her tightly, kisses her gently and rocks her to sleep so perfectly. He is incredible and I know that Laila already loves him so much.

It has been one week since that Sunday night. I fall more in love with Laila every single day. I absolutely love being a mom. It is everything I had ever dreamed of and more. I treasure every day with her and thank Heavenly Father for blessing me with her. I never knew the love a mother has for her child until now. I would do absolutely anything for her!

I am so grateful for trials. I am grateful that we have the opportunity every day to choose how we will endure them. I am grateful for who I am today because of this trial in my life. It has been hard. It has been tough. I have wanted to give up so many times. I hope we always remember that prayers are answered. They are answered in His timing. I hope we always remember that trials can make us stronger. They make us stronger when we allow them to. I hope we always remember that miracles do happen. They happen when we do not lose hope and faith. I hope we always remember to not give up, because the best things in life are TRULY worth waiting for! 

"Our discipleship will be developed and proven not by the TYPE of trials we are faced with, but how we ENDURE them." - Elder Daniel L Johnson 

This video is for anyone who is going through trials. We hope you share it with others who suffer from infertility or any trial that makes you feel like giving up on something. We know that anything is possible and that miracles do happen. The best things in life are truly worth waiting for. 

                

Its Not Over - But I Can See the Finish Line

Tyson ran a marathon a few months ago. When he talks about it he describes it as one of the hardest, but most rewarding things he has ever done. He worked really hard training for it and when the time came to run the race he was so excited. He can tell you how strong of a start he had and how he had to go up and down many hills throughout the race. He then will tell you towards the end he was ready to give up, but he didn't... he kept going until he made it past the finish line. 

I feel like I have been running a little marathon myself the past 9 months. It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done! I worked really hard trying to get pregnant and when I finally became pregnant and started the race I was so excited. I had a strong start and have had to go up and down many hills throughout the experience. Today was the day I felt like giving up, but I will not... I am going to keep going until I make it past the finish line like Tyson did. 

I had my weekly appointment this morning and I have been really excited about it. I was going to talk to Dr. Bohman about inducing me because I thought 1/3/13 would be a pretty fun birthday for Laila. My mom was able to come with me to the appointment and they began measuring her cute little body. She is such a big girl - 7lbs 15oz is what she measured at. I was a 10lbs baby, so I expected her to be pretty fat like her mama. :) She has big lips and a cute little nose... she actually has her DAD's nose, which I find comforting knowing that Dr. Shapiro did implant our embryo inside of me and not someone else's. :) 

After she was measured the doctor came in. I was so confident and truly thought all of my complications with pregnancy were behind me. I asked him about inducing me and he said, "Before we talk about that, there is something else we need to discuss." I have been to SO many doctors appointment the past few years. I KNOW when something is wrong. I could tell that he had something to tell me, that I was not expecting. Doctor then began to explain that my sweet miracle girl is pretty much stuck inside of me. My birth canal is too small and she is not able to drop any further. I have noticed that she has been high and she still is up in my ribs, but I didn't think anything of it, as this is my first baby. He then explained that because of this, I will have to have a C-Section. This was NOT what I expected to hear this morning! 

I have been planning on having a natural birth forever. A C-Section was not even on my mind. I went into monitoring as I do each week and I had a few contractions. I have been contracting since Christmas Day, but they are not pushing her down far enough. While laying in the monitoring room, I called Tyson to give him the news and of COURSE I started crying. I am not sure if it is because I am pregnant or if I have an actual good reason to cry... but I did. I wasn't sad that I needed to have a C-Section. I know a lot of people that have had them done and have heard good things about them. I was sad because I had hit ANOTHER bump in my marathon. I had a hard time getting pregnant and needed doctors help to make this little miracle to begin with. I then had a hard time keeping her inside of me and needed doctors help to lock her inside. And today I learned that I am having a hard time getting her out of me and will need doctors help to get her out. 

I had my moment of sadness and tears... but I decided to pick myself up and finish this race! How lucky I am that they found this silly thing wrong with me. I should have known I wasn't done... we are never done with our trials, are we?! I am so grateful for good doctors! I feel so blessed that they caught this now and I didn't have to labor and then have a C-Section. I know that everything happens for a reason. For some reason, I am not supposed to have this baby naturally and I know that it is going to be okay. Has anything truly been "natural" with this pregnancy anyways? :) I am SO grateful she is a chunky, healthy girl! We can NOT wait to meet her on January 10, 2013 (my mom's birthday too!) at 4pm. 

“Perseverance means to continue in a given course until we have reached a goal or objective, regardless of obstacles, opposition, and other counterinfluences...Perseverance is a positive, active characteristic...It gives us hope by helping us realize that the righteous suffer no failure except in giving up and no longer trying.” 

― Joseph B. Wirthlin

The WAITING Game

On Thursday, December 20th, Tyson and I walked into Dr. Bohman's office. We had been waiting for this day...forever! We were there to get my stitches and cerclage removed after 12 weeks of bed rest. I was 36 weeks pregnant and "full term," therefore Laila was free to come! The procedure was only a few minutes and was a little painful, but nothing I feel like I should complain about. I was so happy that it worked! The stitches had kept her inside and safe! Without them, she would have been born at 24 weeks with a lot of complications, if she made it at all. 

My mom was scheduled to arrive at midnight on Christmas Day, so I put myself on strict bed rest for the week. Luckily, I had done all of my Christmas shopping, so I was able to just hang low for a few days. I did NOT want to go into labor without my mom being here. On Christmas morning I woke up with my first contractions that I have ever felt. I wasn't actually sure if it was just the baby in a weird position or if they were true contractions at first. They started coming and going pretty frequently, so much actually, that I realized that they were indeed contractions and not just the baby moving. Tyson and I got so excited, thinking she was going to come any second! 

Since then, my contractions have been very spontaneous and not consistent. I went in for my weekly monitoring on Thursday, and that is where I was able to actually SEE my first contraction. It was so crazy to feel it and to see it on the monitor too. My mom was with me and was SO excited about every contraction. After seeing the doctor, he let us know because they were not consistent, that that was not the day. They were about 5-10 minutes apart and he told me to just keep a close watch on them. 

I have been contracting DAILY. They come and go. Tyson's aunt said she contracted for 2 whole weeks before she went into labor, so I am trying to tell myself to not get TOO excited. Tyson wants her to come every day. I am so excited to see him become a dad. He is going to seriously be the BEST! He has been so patient the past few years and has always had so much faith for our little family. I know the day she comes will probably be the best day of his life. He always talks to Laila and tells her that its okay to come out now! But we are pretty sure she is comfortable in there and since we worked so hard to get her to stay in there, she is just obeying us and staying in there FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!

We are so excited! I can NOT believe this is actually happening. The contractions are real and this baby  inside of me is going to be here before we know it! I want her to stay in there as long as possible so she can be healthy, but at the same time we want her out so we can hold her and kiss her big lips! Whenever we get anxious, I like to sit back and think about the past few years. It took us a long time to make her, we almost lost her two times within the past few months, I had to have an emergency surgery to keep her locked in there, I was on bed rest for several months and now we want her to come RIGHT NOW. I feel like if I have learned anything from any of this, it is that everything happens when it is supposed to. We got pregnant on the Lords time and now our sweet miracle we have dreamed and hoped for will come on the Lords time. 

I told the doctor we had a poll of when she is coming, Tyson thinks New Years Eve which is tomorrow, my guess was New Years Day which is only 2 days away and the doctor guessed January 5th, which is only 6 days away! We will keep you all updated on our special girl. We worked so hard keeping her in there and now she won't come out! I am thinking at this point she isn't coming until February 1st. :) Either way... miracles happen and prayers are answered! A lot of times it is not on our time table, but it is always in Heavenly Father's... which is perfect! 

“Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich. Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

36 WEEKS - We made it!

Have you ever dreamed of something... and you picture it being a specific way... and then that dream finally becomes a reality... and it doesn't go the way you had always pictured it... BUT actually ended up being better than you could have even ever imagined? That is where I stand today. I am 36 weeks pregnant, "FULL TERM"... 9 whole months pregnant. Technically I still have 4 weeks until my due date, but hitting this mile stone is the most incredible feeling...EVER. 

For many who have been following my blog, you already know how my journey began. For those of you who do not, you can read our story here: http://tysanddani.blogspot.com/2012/01/start-of-something-new.html . This blog has been a way for me to journal my thoughts as I have had a roller coaster journey on becoming pregnant and STAYING pregnant. I write to help me get my thoughts out on paper and I also write to give others hope through infertility and trials in general. We all go through different trials and I am grateful that we can all learn from each other's experiences. 

I had always dreamed of being pregnant and becoming a mom. I dreamed that I would have a perfect marriage, where Tyson and I would be able to have as many kids as we wanted, that we would get pregnant every other year so all of our children could be friends and close in age. I dreamed that I would have a flawless pregnancy and I would only gain 20 pounds and would have the perfect baby bump. I dreamed that I would work all the way up to my due date and have the nursery 100% completed by the time our baby would arrive. Well, let me tell you... the dream of becoming pregnant came true, but it did NOT go any way I had imagined it. 

Soon after we got married, Tyson and I learned that becoming pregnant was not going to be an easy thing for us like we imagined. We probably wont be able to have as many kids as we want and we definitely wont be getting pregnant every other year so all of our children can be close in age. I did not have a flawless pregnancy and I have gained a whole lot more weight than 20 pounds. I have been out of work for three months due to bedrest and the nursery is not even fully completed like I would like, as I am unable to run errands like I imagined. All of these things are COMPLETELY opposite of what I imagined...but I wouldn't have traded ONE thing along this journey for anything. We have learned so much from these experiences and this dream of mine has become the best reality in the world!

At 24 weeks I went into pre-term labor and had a cerclage put in to lock our baby girl inside! I will have my stitches removed tomorrow at 9am. WE ARE SO EXCITED! Most patients last about 2 weeks after the stitches are removed before they go into labor, so I am planning on her coming around New Years. I think New Years Eve would be SO fun... It would be the best end of the year gift in the whole world! I also think it would be fun to be like the movie NYE and have Laila be the first baby born in Las Vegas in 2013! :) The chances of this happening are very very slim, but it is fun to think about! The doctor said only once in his whole career has he removed stitches and the baby's FOOT popped out, so he had to re-stitch her up and do a C-Section that moment. He and I both HIGHLY doubt that will happen. Originally I was thinking she would be here around Christmas, but I am putting myself on STRICT bed rest until the day after Christmas so she doesn't come until after! My mom will be here on the 26th and then Laila can make her appearance any time after that! :) I am going to DIE if after all of this, she doesn't come until her due date which is January 17th. THAT will be crazy! But anything can happen with this girl... we have all learned that throughout the past 9 months. 

I am so excited to be a mom. I love our sweet Laila so much. She is a miracle and blesses us every day. She has already brought us more happiness than I can describe. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on our progress! Thank you all for your love and support the past few months. Your prayers have truly been felt and answered.  Next time I blog... I could be a MOM! So weird... :)

“I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

LESSONS LEARNED

This week we hit our goal of 31 weeks! This wasn't only our goal, but it was actually the doctor's goal. He told us if we make it this far, our sweet baby girl should be the healthy baby that we have been hoping and praying for, for so long. I feel so blessed and so grateful today. As I think back on the past few years leading up to this point, I realize how much I have grown from this experience. I have really learned a lot!

I have learned that life is not easy. It is actually kind of hard sometimes!

I have learned that things do not always go the way we plan... in fact, they rarely do. If plan A doesn't work, then we go on to plan B...or C... or D. Luckily, there are a lot of letters in the alphabet so we can just keep changing plans if needed.

I have learned that patience is important. It is something I don't have much of and is an attribute  I think I will always have to work on. 

I have learned that when life is too hard to stand, to kneel. This is a quote by President Hinckley, but I have learned that it is true. I remember specific moments when I would walk in the door from a doctor's appointment, crying my eyes out and before I could do anything, I would drop to my knees in prayer. I know that I couldn't have gone through everything I have, without getting on my knees. 

I have learned that trials can bring us closer to the ones we love. Tyson and I have a special bond now that we have gone through this, a bond that may not have been there had we had a baby 4 years ago. 

I have learned that everything happens for a reason. It sounds cliche, but it is a fact. 

I have learned that every prayer is answered. It sometimes isn't answered immediately and it sometimes is answered differently than we would like, but I have learned that He is there and He does comfort us when needed. 

I have learned that I have a lot to work on. I am not perfect and can do a lot better. 

I have learned that baths heal everything. If I don't feel good because my stomach hurts or if I am just really tired - a warm bath makes me feel SO much better. Who needs medicine when you have a bath? 

I have learned to have FUN when things don't go my way. For every negative pregnancy test that came our way, we would throw it in the garbage and go get ice cream or something! Tyson was much better at this than I was, but he helped me see the good in things. 

I have learned to never give up. There were times that I wanted to. There were times that I DID. After our failed IUI treatments, I told Tyson that I guess I wasn't supposed to be a mom...ever. I needed a little bit of time to heal, but luckily I was able to pick myself up and try again a year later. Never give up. 

I have learned to choose to be happy during our trials. I truly believe it is okay to be sad during hard times. I cry all the time and I think that is totally fine and healthy! I don't like crying because I look so ugly, but I think it helps me get my feelings out. But after a little while of crying or anger or sadness, I have learned how important it is to pick myself up and to carry on with a smile. Life is a lot more fun when I smile! 

I have learned that anything is possible. Don't let anyone tell you that you "CAN'T" do something. Yes, you can. It may take a lot of sacrifice and hard work. It may take a lot of time. But anything is possible. 

I have learned that miracles happen. I have one kicking me inside right now.

I have learned to be grateful. We will always have trials and hard times come our way, but it seems like to me after the craziest bumps we experience, the most incredible blessings come.