Prayers are HEARD... and then they are ANSWERED

After my last post, I had so many different people contact me advising me that I should look into going to a High Risk doctor. I was going to wait the 4 weeks that Natalie had suggested at my appointment, but after talking to so many people, who had the same opinion about my situation, I decided to look into a High Risk doctor. I called Natalie and left a message for her and she called me back almost immediately. She knew how shaken up I was about how our appointment went, that she knew I probably wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't call me back that same day. I asked her what her thoughts were in regards to seeing a High Risk doctor, and she said she also suggests that I go to one. She referred me to Desert Perinatal. 

I was put on bed rest for 4 weeks like I mentioned in my last post, but Dr. advised me that if I needed to go to work that I could, just to not walk around and to make sure I sat in one spot. They also put me on 100% bed rest after work and on the weekends. With that being said, I went to work yesterday! I was off Thursday - Sunday on bed rest and felt like I could go back to work on Monday. I am out of sick days at this point and I would really like to stay away from having to take a Leave of Absence. I love my job and it is such a blessing in our lives financially and with insurance, so I will do anything to continue working at this point. I went to work and it didn't take long for me to realize that working was probably a bad idea. I was cramping pretty badly and was told I shouldn't get up a lot. That is hard while working in an office! I HAD to get up to get things off the printer, make copies, check the fax, fill up my water bottle and go to the bathroom. Around 2pm I got really sick and decided I probably needed to go home. My co-workers are SO protective and 100% supporters of this baby. They called for a wheelchair to be delivered and would not let me drive myself home. They pushed me in the wheelchair through my office, down the elevator, through BOTH casinos and to the parking garage. Ashley drove me home in my car and Rochelle followed behind. They were amazing friends! I was so grateful for them. 

I laid down for the rest of the day and called the doctor. The doctor didn't call me until this morning, but called me first thing in the morning! She advised me not to go to work today and to lay down. They were also able to squeeze me into Desert Perinatal with Dr. Vo in Summerlin. I was so grateful they were able to squeeze me into their busy schedules! Tyson was able to leave work for a lunch break so he could drive me. We pulled up and I was very anxious. I had a feeling that everything was going to be okay! I think this was the first appointment that I was not nervous and I had a really strong feeling that the baby was going to be just fine! 

They put us in the room with the nicest ultrasound systems. It was so neat to be able to see the ultrasound on a TV on the wall and not have to twist my neck to see it on their small ultrasound screen. We were able to see our healthy little baby, who is absolutely perfect!! Heart is beating 146bpm and we got to see him SO clearly! It was so great and SO comforting for Tyson and I to see how healthy he was. I just can't stop staring at the pictures. This little baby is such a miracle and we are so grateful for every passing day where this baby gets to grow! 

The doctor came in and was SO nice. She explained everything she was looking at in detail and answered all of our questions. She explained why I am High Risk and said that I will definitely be a High Risk pregnancy patient for the rest of my pregnancy. She took a look at our ultrasounds and had a smile on her face. She said that the tears that I have in placenta are already re-attaching to my uterus! She said they are kind of like bruises and sometimes they take time to heal, but they will eventually heal themselves. She advised for me to be on 100% bed rest for 1 more week, I can not even go to work - and we will see how I am next Monday. If I feel good and everything continues to heal, I can go back to work next week. 

I am planning on not moving and literally laying in my bed and on the couch for the next 7 days, 24 hours a day. I am willing to do anything for this baby, even if it means to just lay in one place. If anyone has any ideas of fun things to do this week, let me know! I plan on scrapbooking, reading Heaven is Here, Facebook stalking everyone, Instagram stalking Jef and Emily (Bachelorette), watching the news (weird and random new obsession), watching movies, and of course sleeping. 

I know that prayers are answered. Sometimes they take a LONG time to be answered (this baby took almost 4 years of praying), and sometimes they are answered so quickly! I was told that the placenta takes weeks to reattach, if at all, and it has only been 5 days and they have seen a difference. I have the greatest family and friends in the whole world!! Something that is really neat that I have seen the past few days is the power of prayer in all faiths. I have friends, friends of friends, family and family of friends, who have told me they are praying for me - all of which are of different faiths and beliefs. I love that I can feel your prayers and that Heavenly Father is answering them so quickly! 

I have a two year old niece who said her night night prayers all by herself the other night. My sister heard her say, "Pease bless Aunt Dani baby...healthyyyy." I love the prayer of an innocent little girl. I know that He hears the prayers of a 2 year old and He hears the prayers of adults. I am grateful for all of my family and friends who have prayed and continue to pray for our little miracle. Tyson and I feel them. Our baby feels them. We are so blessed!! 

"Never assume that you can make it alone. You need the help of the Lord. Never hesitate to get on your knees in some private place and speak with Him. What a marvelous and wonderful thing is prayer. Think of it. We can actually speak with our Father in Heaven. He will hear and respond, but we need to listen to that response. Nothing is too serious and nothing too unimportant to share with Him."

                                                                    --Gordon B. Hinkley

Through the Good and the Bad

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days that you just wish would have never happened. One of those days that felt like the day was never going to end. One of those days where you cry so much that your eyes burn and you can barely even see. 

It was a normal day and I was feeling totally fine! I went to work and had my morning meeting at 9am. We stand up during the meeting and after standing for about 5 minutes, I started cramping really bad. I waited until the meeting concluded and ran to the bathroom. After everything I have been through to get this baby, I am extra cautious and worry about every little feeling. I went to the bathroom and saw something I did NOT want to see. I kept calm and was able to walk back to my office without crying or freaking out. I had bled before during this pregnancy, so I have learned to stay calm. As soon as I walked into my office and saw my friend Andrea, I lost it. I called the doctor and they told me to come in immediately. I am 14 weeks and obviously, bleeding is not a great thing at this point. 

I called Tyson on my way to the doctor. I was crying so much. Memories of 3 years ago fled threw my mind of losing my baby. I was so upset and did not know what to expect. Natalie, Dr. Juarez's PA, was able to pull me in immediately. It didn't take long for her to pull the doppler out and what do you know? A healthy, strong, baby heartbeat!! I seriously wanted to lay there and listen to that beat forever. The baby was moving around and more tears fell from my eyes. My baby is okay!! I was so happy. 

It didn't take long for my attitude to change. I was super positive and so excited. Natalie told me she still wanted to do an ultrasound JUST to make sure everything else was still okay. In my mind, all I needed was a healthy baby! BUT the doctor knows better than me. I waited about an hour until the ultrasound room had an opening. 

I sat down for my ultrasound and my belly looked so big! The ultrasound tech took a few pictures of the baby and a LOT of pictures of my uterus, placenta, amniotic fluid, cervix, etc. I had a feeling something was wrong when she turned the lights on and said, "Maybe you should go wait in the waiting room. I am not sure if the doctor wants to talk to you again." I sat patiently and waited for Natalie to come and get me. She pulled me into the back and had me sit down. She shut the door and seemed nervous. She apologized for taking so long because she had to talk to the Doctor about what they had seen. Unfortunately, she showed me the pictures of my uterus and placenta and said I have 2 subchorionic hematomas. This is a fancy way of saying that I have 2 tears in my placenta and it is detaching from my uterus. As you can imagine, I was in shock. I had just heard my baby's heartbeat and saw how healthy he was moving around in there! And now she tells me my placenta is tearing. 

I asked a lot of questions and she tried to answer positively. I did not cry! I stayed strong and tried to have a clear mind to ask all of the questions I had. I learned that if these tears continue, I will go into pre-term labor and at this point, lose my baby. I have been put on bed rest for the next 4 weeks. I am only allowed to go to work and sit. I can't go grocery shopping, cook, clean, or go out. I need to lay down as much as possible. 100% on the weekends and evenings. I have a follow up ultrasound in 4 weeks and that will determine a few things. It will either correct itself and the placenta will re-grow and re-attach to my uterus, or I will be put on 100% bed rest and go to a high risk doctor for treatment to prevent pre-term labor. At this point anything is possible. It can go either way and anything can happen. I am just laying here - praying, hoping and crossing all of my fingers that it will correct itself. 

I got into the car and lost it. I cried to Tyson and my mom. I cried to my siblings and my mother in law. I cried to my boss and Andrea. I honestly don't remember the last time I was SO upset. I am so nervous! I am scared! It is so discouraging! I just kept saying, WHY me?! If there is something that can go wrong, WHY do I get it? WHY after everything I have been through to get this baby (and I do have a healthy baby!!) does something like this happen? I am going to be SO upset if this baby doesn't make it because of MY body. I was so frustrated and just keep crying! 

I have now had 24 hours to calm down and really think about this situation. I am so blessed to have a husband who holds the priesthood and was able to give me a blessing with my brother in law, Jon. In the blessing, he blessed me to know that my Heavenly Father loves me and to always remember that no matter what happens, good or bad. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I knew that this pregnancy wasn't going to be perfect, but I knew it was going to be worth the try. Every day is a true miracle when it comes to this baby. I love every time I see my growing belly. I love every little twinge I feel, knowing the baby is growing. I love hearing that heart beat so strong. I love knowing that this baby is mine forever! I already love him/her so so much. 

I am grateful for bad days. I feel like it really makes us appreciate the good days! I am grateful that through our trials, we can always turn to God. He is always there and he hears all of our prayers. He knows of mine and Tyson's desire to become parents and I know we will be blessed. I pray constantly that this baby will continue to be healthy and that my placenta will re-attach quickly. We are so blessed! Tyson and I are so grateful to be pregnant! After almost 4 years of not even being pregnant, this is a true miracle! Even though there are some bumps, I know we will get through them! As Tyson says, "At least we have each other...and that is all I need!" 

I hope that as everyone continues on with their trials that you all will remember that Heavenly Father loves you, no matter what happens, through the good and the bad!

"Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount—that is the measure of God’s love for you." - DIETER F. UCHTDORF

A Growing Belly...

For the past 3.5 years I have been so jealous of all of my friend's baby bumps. I felt like I was the only girl in the world that was not pregnant! It got so discouraging sometimes, I just had to tell myself NOT to look at Facebook throughout the day, because it would only make me sad. Don't get me wrong - I was so happy for all of my friends! It was just hard to see so many people have the thing that I wanted. The thing that I had been praying and hoping for, for years! I am so excited that now I get a turn. I get a turn to grow a little belly. I get a turn to take pictures and post them for the world to see! From the moment we found out that we were pregnant, we took a picture of my stomach. Going through InVitro, they say a woman will gain 5-10lbs a cycle, WITHOUT even getting pregnant! I had definitely gained a few pounds and was extremely bloated, even at 4 weeks! 

I am so grateful for this opportunity to be pregnant and to start our family. I do not take ANY day for granted. I feel like every day is a miracle and I just hope and pray every day that this baby will keep growing and be healthy. Having had a miscarriage in the past and then gone through these treatments, I am such a worrier. I just want everything to go perfectly! Things have not gone perfectly, but luckily we have gotten through each bump in the road. I love that I have been keeping track each week of the things that have happened so I will always remember this crazy time in life. 

For all of my friends that are still struggling with infertility or other trials in life... Something I learned through the past few weeks is that Heavenly Father has a plan for everyone. His plan is great. His love is perfect. And as we continue on in faith, things fall into place. I am now seeing the reasons my faithful, righteous desire of becoming a mom was postponed for a few years. I have been able to think back on the past few years, and I am SO happy that I got to spend this extra time with just Tyson. We have been able to strengthen our marriage and have created a bond together that may not have been possible, had we had a baby exactly when we wanted. I know that Heavenly Father's plan is much better than ours. EVERYTHING works out. Do not give up. 

"You have not failed, until you quit trying." - President Gordon B. Hinckley


**CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO VIEW LARGER**

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

Today was SUCH a special day. I am overwhelmed by all of the nice messages, texts, emails and phone calls I have received from my friends and family. I am so blessed. I am so grateful for everyone who is following my blog and who have supported Tyson and I as we have been on this crazy, emotional, physically exhausting, special, testimony building, and FUN adventure! I honestly do not know the person I would be today, if I did not experience infertility for the past 3 and a half years. 

First, I want to apologize to everyone for keeping it a secret for so long! We didn't even tell our families we were implanting. I feel like every person has that dream. The dream where they get to make a big announcement and have it be a total surprise! Whether it is an announcement that you are engaged or that you got a promotion, or whether it is news that you are moving or won a big award! When something exciting happens, you want to have that special moment of announcing it. WELL - that is why we did not tell anyone we were implanting. Going through these treatments, everyone has really known everything that we have gone through and everything I have been diagnosed with along the way. So, when we went to the doctor for a check up and Dr. Shapiro said that everything looked good... we decided we would do it! We would implant our cute embryos and we would do it without anybody knowing, so we could have that special moment of announcing a little surprise! :) Let me tell you - it was so hard keeping a secret! You all know I love to talk and I love to share EVERYTHING that is going on in my life at all times, so it was very hard for me. I have to admit now though, that today made it totally worth it. I am so glad we got to make our special announcement a TRULY special  one. 

On May 3, 2012 we pulled up to The Fertility Center of Las Vegas. I was SO excited. I had a feeling that I honestly cannot explain. It was a feeling of comfort and peace, mixed in with nerves. This was a moment that Tyson and I had waited for. We were finally implanting 2 of our embryos, with very high hopes to become parents! They had me put on that really cute hospital gown again with the blue hat to cover my head. I could not stop shaking. I am not sure if I was truly freezing cold or if my nerves had just taken over my body. They wheeled me into the operation room, where I laid for a few minutes. That is when Tyson walked into the room. With his hospital shoes and cap on, I couldn't help but fall more in love with him. He looked so cute. Here I was, going through one of the most important things in my whole life - and my best friend was right by my side. He smiled so big and was so excited... here was his chance to become a dad! I said a silent prayer to myself, thanking Heavenly Father for the opportunity that I had to be in that very room with my sweet husband next to me and a knowledgable doctor in front of me. Dr. Shapiro looked us in the eyes several times asking if we were sure we wanted to implant 2 and we just continued saying yes! Doctor only wanted to put in one, but I had a feeling for several weeks that we were supposed to put in 2. 

After the procedure, they wheeled me into recovery room where I had to lay flat and still for 30 minutes. There really wasn't much I could do at this point, but hope and pray with all of my heart that the babies would attach! We went home and I was on bed rest for 5 days. I actually had a great time relaxing, but by Day 5 I was over my house and could NOT wait to go back to work. We were not supposed to find out until Mothers Day if the embryos attached, but on Day 6, my levels were so high that they knew I was pregnant! In fact, they thought with twins! 

I was beyond excited. I cried and cried... and cried some more. After going through 8 rounds of clomid, 1 failed IUI, 2 cancelled IUIs, 3 surgeries, 1 MRI, countless testing, daily shots, and now IVF - our prayers had been answered! The most important thing in my life, my number one goal, the thing I have dedicated my life to for almost 4 years... was coming to pass! "I AM PREGNANT" I just kept telling myself. I honestly could not believe it. I still can't. 

I could not wait to tell Tyson so I called him immediately. To celebrate that night I put together a little baby menu with all of the options to eat having to do with babies. It was such a fun night. We were full of complete joy. We said a lot of thank you prayers that night! I felt the spirit in our home so strongly. We had been blessed. 

It has not been an easy rode since then. I have had quite a few scares and a lot of ups and downs. We learned we were pregnant with just one baby, not twins... but we're SO excited that we have 1 healthy one! That is all we have been asking for. Luckily, the doctors have been keeping a close watch on me and everything is doing wonderful. We have seen our little blessing 5 times (we are 11 weeks along) now through ultrasounds and every time I truly experience the greatest joy. I never knew I could fall in love so quickly. The baby is all I think about or care about and I am not sure if that will ever change for the rest of my life! 

I honestly have so much to be grateful for. I want everyone to know that I truly know that miracles happen. I wrote in a few posts back that I was told almost 10 years ago that I would not be able to have children and if I did, it would be very difficult. Well I am so happy to say, that ANYTHING can happen. Never let anyone tell you something can't happen. I know that with God, nothing is impossible. 

My journey is not over and my trials are NOT complete. I know that this pregnancy is not going to be perfect, as it already hasn't been. I know that hard times will come my way and I will need to continue in prayer and faith. I love that this blog has brought me so close to so many people. We all have different trials, some much harder than others. I am grateful for the inspiration everyone is to me and who have helped me get to where I am today. I want anyone who is struggling with infertility to know that anything is possible. Sometimes it takes a lot of work and a lot of patience. It takes time and sometimes a lot money. It takes a pure dedication. But I know, if you want it - you will get it! Heavenly Father always keeps his promises. 

I want anyone else to know, who isn't going through infertility, but maybe a different trial - that everything works out. No matter what your religion, prayer is real. I KNOW that Heavenly Father hears and answers EVERY single one of our prayers. Sometimes I got really frustrated because my prayers weren't being answered right away and on my time table. It took almost 4 years for this prayer to be answered and I wouldn't have it any other way. Hard times will continue to come, but we will be blessed because of it. 

I am excited to continue on with this journey. I am excited to have a patient and loving husband by my side. He is going to be the BEST dad in the world!!! He has been so patient with me as we have gone through this. Not to mention - didn't he make such a great video for our announcement?! He is amazing. I am glad I get to share these special moments with him. 

Miracles Do Happen from Tyson Davis on Vimeo.

HAPPINESS is a choice

A few weeks ago I was at work and someone asked me, "Why are you ALWAYS so HAPPY? Why do you always have a smile on your face? Do you ever have a bad day? What do I need to do to be happy like you?" ... I have thought about this a lot lately and I have come to the conclusion that I am happy because I choose to be happy. I am really just an average 25 year old girl. 

I will be the first to tell you that I am not perfect and I do not have a perfect life. I do have bad days and I cry at least three times a week. Just as every person on this earth, I have trials. In fact, I am in the middle of a trial that has been pulling at my heart for over 3 years now. I hate waking up every morning, I wish I could sleep all day long. I hate doing my hair, I wish I could wear it in a bun on top of my head every single day. I hate getting my blood drawn on a daily basis on my way to work. I hate cooking dinner, I am a horrible cook. I hate working out, I wish I was naturally skinny. I hate veggies, I seriously wish I could eat Oreos and milk all day long. I hate cleaning the house, I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be in order. I hate being fancy, I wish I could wear a t-shirt and shorts all day. I hate giving myself shots every single night. I hate not having a baby and not being able to experience motherhood yet and I really hate how I get tired at 8pm every night like a grandma! 

I feel like I could be so grumpy with all of those things that I really don't like in life - but how horrible life would be! In answer to my co-workers question, I am happy because I am blessed. I am happy because  I have a husband who is my best friend. I am happy because I have a family and an in-law family that make me a better person. I am happy because I have friends who support me and I feel of their prayers. I am happy because I have a cute little house that is small, but perfect for Tyson and I! I am happy because Tyson and I both have been blessed with amazing jobs that we love and enjoy. I am happy because we have the financial means to be going on year 4 on Fertility Treatments! I am happy because I have the gospel in my life and know that the church is true. I am happy because I can pray and I know that my Heavenly Father not only hears, but answers my prayers! I am happy because I love my new camera and I love taking pictures even though I am not that good yet. I am happy because of Facebook and I love stalking people! I am happy because it is Summer and I am obsessed with the heat. I am happy because I love when I hear that song on the radio, that I can blast and just sing with all of heart. I am happy because I have the most comfortable bed. I am happy because I love my Doctor! I am happy because life is just too short to be grumpy! 

I love that my friend asked me that question. I thought it was funny that he sincerely thought that I never got angry or sad. He really thought that I never had a bad day. Seriously - we ALL have bad days. We are human and things make us angry and upset. I know that a lot of times through our trials it is REALLY hard to stay positive and not be upset. A few weeks ago when I got bad news from the doctor, I called my mom and said "Please tell me it is okay to cry!!" And she said "YES! It is okay to cry!" It is super important for us to get things off our chest and to feel sorry for ourselves every once in a while. It is healthy really. 

Thank Heavenly Father for our trials! For our trials truly make us stronger! In fact, without having those things that get us down or drive us crazy, we really wouldn't be able to experience the true joy and happiness in life because we wouldn't know the difference! 

"LIFE IS TO BE ENJOYED, NOT ENDURED"- Gordon B. Hinckley 

Never Alone

I am having a hard time today figuring out what I should write. I seriously have had so many mixed emotions the past few weeks, it is hard to put my thoughts on paper. Normally when I start a post, I have an idea of what I am going to write and how I am going to present it, but honestly I am just typing away so I apologize if this ends up being a lot of information and a lot of different feelings in one post. 

Tyson and I have been so busy lately! It has been nice to have things distract my mind from our fertility treatments. I never realized how long of a process InVitro was going to be for us. I know someone who read my blog, went to Dr. Shapiro for treatments and is already pregnant - And here we are still on this crazy adventure! It is so weird that on average IVF takes a woman 2 months to get pregnant and we are on our way into month 7 with Dr. Shapiro. Don't get me wrong, time is flying! It is just frustrating sometimes to know that my process is taking much longer than the "average." I have never really been average when it comes to things like this, so I should have known this was going to be the case. All I know is I am so excited to implant and I REALLY hope that day is soon! We are shooting for August, but will definitely keep everyone posted. :) 

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR: 

1. Every night at 6:55pm my alarm goes off. We call it our Booty Call alarm to make it fun - but really it means SHOT time. I have been doing daily shots for a few months now and I wish I could say I am use to it. Every time that needle goes in, I STILL have that natural instinct to flench... even though I know exactly how it feels and that it is coming. This may sound weird, but I feel like my shots have brought Tyson and I closer together. EVERY single night, we are required to be together at 7pm. No matter where we are or what is going on that day, we do my shot. It is pretty funny to see all of the random places we end up being at 7pm at night. We have done them at the bowling alley, at our friends and families houses, we have done them at our little sister and nieces dance recital and even at the temple. I am grateful that Tyson is SO brave and he doesn't mind doing it for me. There is NO way I could do it myself! I am so grateful for modern medicine. I think I say this in every post, but it is true. I know that without these shots, having a baby would not even be an option for us! What a blessing it is every night to have that medicine go into my body. 

2. I feel like when we go through trials, it is SO important to have someone by your side!! Whether it be a friend or spouse, a mom or dad, maybe a teacher or leader... someone! Tyson is literally my rock. He is constantly staying positive and doing everything in his power to make me feel better about any situation. He is probably the only person that can make me truly laugh when I am crying. He gives me the best and most meaningful hugs when he knows I need to know someone cares. He listens to my stories and my complaints. He cooks us dinner almost every night when I am not feeling well and cleans the house. You could say he is a better wife then me and I wouldn't argue! He gives me the best foot massages when I don't feel like doing anything and he somehow finds time to go to school full time and work full time. He is the perfect example for me when it comes to scripture study and he knows they are true. Because of the scriptures, we have been able to overcome what I thought was, the impossible, and I owe this to Tyson. I love that he is the man of our home and I love that if I have to go through this trial of having a baby, that I get to do it with him!

3. Tyson and I have been to the temple 2 times in one week and I cannot tell you how blessed we feel. I love the temple. I love looking at it. I love being inside it. I love the spirit that is there. I love what I learn there. I love to pray there. I have just gained a stronger testimony of the temple and I am so excited about it! I know that as we go through trials and turn to our Heavenly Father that he answers our prayers. And I know that we feel and see his answers when we are in the right places. I want to go to the temple every week now, to feel the spirit that is there and to feel my Savior's love. I love that when we go through trials, no matter what our faith is - that we are never alone! I love that we are always in His watchful care and it is mostly through our trials when He carries us. 

I am stoked to continue on with this special experience in life! I love knowing every day that we are that much closer to having a baby come into our home and for that I am so excited!! 

"I know that God is our Father, that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer, and that They have provided a way so that we need never be alone." - Sheri L. Dew 

Best Friend's Day

I had always LOVED Mother's Day growing up. I got to draw pictures, write nice cards, make pretty flowers and do special things for my mom. It was such a nice day to be able to celebrate HER and the things she did for me. 

Last May I was struggling. We had done our first round of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) a few months prior and it had failed. I was having SUCH a hard time handling it. Mother's Day was a few days away and I was completely dreading it. I felt bad because it was always a holiday that I loved and I felt like I was being very selfish. This was a day that I was supposed to celebrate my amazing mom! I shouldn't worry about ME and my feelings of not being a mom, but I honestly could not help it. I felt like ALL of my friends were either pregnant or had a newborn. I felt like we had a baby shower in the office at work almost every day. I felt like every movie we went and saw had a pregnant girl or a baby being born in it. I felt like every person on Facebook would post a picture of their cute belly growing or an ultrasound of their sweet baby in their tummy. I felt like every magazine cover was of some famous person with a big pregnant belly. I couldn't stand seeing a women smoke when they had a baby bump, when I knew that I would do anything to make my baby as healthy as possible. I found myself extremely jealous and on my knees constantly in tears. I felt so alone and did not want to celebrate a day for Moms, when the only thing in life I wanted at the time was to be one and it was being withheld from me. 

On the Saturday before Mother's Day there was a knock at the door. I opened it and their laid the most beautiful roses. With the roses was a card that read: "Great things truly are worth waiting for. Happy Your my Best Friend in the Whole World Day!" I ran up the stairs and sat in Tyson's arm for a few minutes literally crying my eyes out. I had NEVER felt so loved in my life. I wasn't a mom, but I had a best friend. I had someone who cared more about me than he did about me being pregant. Don't get me wrong, Tyson wants to be a dad SO bad, but at that moment he made sure I knew that I didn't need to be a mom in order for him to love me.

From that moment, he had made a new tradition for us. Mother's Day was now Best Friends Day. It was now a day that we would celebrate each other and how grateful we are for EVERYTHING we have. Sometimes it is hard to see our blessings on a day that celebrates something we REALLY want - but because of Best Friends Day we get to see all of the many blessings that we truly have. 

I love Tyson for making me feel so special on that Mother's Day. I am SO grateful for him and for always looking out for my feelings. He truly is my Best Friend and I can not wait for him to be a dad! We both continue to strive for that day to come - and we know it will! I am grateful for my Mom, Mother in law, Grandmas, sisters, aunts, cousins and friends who are the most amazing MOMS in the world!! I love their examples and I hope I can be just like them when my turn comes to be a mom. 

Happy Mothers Day Mom!! AND Happy Best Friends Day Tyson!!