The WAITING Game

On Thursday, December 20th, Tyson and I walked into Dr. Bohman's office. We had been waiting for this day...forever! We were there to get my stitches and cerclage removed after 12 weeks of bed rest. I was 36 weeks pregnant and "full term," therefore Laila was free to come! The procedure was only a few minutes and was a little painful, but nothing I feel like I should complain about. I was so happy that it worked! The stitches had kept her inside and safe! Without them, she would have been born at 24 weeks with a lot of complications, if she made it at all. 

My mom was scheduled to arrive at midnight on Christmas Day, so I put myself on strict bed rest for the week. Luckily, I had done all of my Christmas shopping, so I was able to just hang low for a few days. I did NOT want to go into labor without my mom being here. On Christmas morning I woke up with my first contractions that I have ever felt. I wasn't actually sure if it was just the baby in a weird position or if they were true contractions at first. They started coming and going pretty frequently, so much actually, that I realized that they were indeed contractions and not just the baby moving. Tyson and I got so excited, thinking she was going to come any second! 

Since then, my contractions have been very spontaneous and not consistent. I went in for my weekly monitoring on Thursday, and that is where I was able to actually SEE my first contraction. It was so crazy to feel it and to see it on the monitor too. My mom was with me and was SO excited about every contraction. After seeing the doctor, he let us know because they were not consistent, that that was not the day. They were about 5-10 minutes apart and he told me to just keep a close watch on them. 

I have been contracting DAILY. They come and go. Tyson's aunt said she contracted for 2 whole weeks before she went into labor, so I am trying to tell myself to not get TOO excited. Tyson wants her to come every day. I am so excited to see him become a dad. He is going to seriously be the BEST! He has been so patient the past few years and has always had so much faith for our little family. I know the day she comes will probably be the best day of his life. He always talks to Laila and tells her that its okay to come out now! But we are pretty sure she is comfortable in there and since we worked so hard to get her to stay in there, she is just obeying us and staying in there FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!

We are so excited! I can NOT believe this is actually happening. The contractions are real and this baby  inside of me is going to be here before we know it! I want her to stay in there as long as possible so she can be healthy, but at the same time we want her out so we can hold her and kiss her big lips! Whenever we get anxious, I like to sit back and think about the past few years. It took us a long time to make her, we almost lost her two times within the past few months, I had to have an emergency surgery to keep her locked in there, I was on bed rest for several months and now we want her to come RIGHT NOW. I feel like if I have learned anything from any of this, it is that everything happens when it is supposed to. We got pregnant on the Lords time and now our sweet miracle we have dreamed and hoped for will come on the Lords time. 

I told the doctor we had a poll of when she is coming, Tyson thinks New Years Eve which is tomorrow, my guess was New Years Day which is only 2 days away and the doctor guessed January 5th, which is only 6 days away! We will keep you all updated on our special girl. We worked so hard keeping her in there and now she won't come out! I am thinking at this point she isn't coming until February 1st. :) Either way... miracles happen and prayers are answered! A lot of times it is not on our time table, but it is always in Heavenly Father's... which is perfect! 

“Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich. Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

36 WEEKS - We made it!

Have you ever dreamed of something... and you picture it being a specific way... and then that dream finally becomes a reality... and it doesn't go the way you had always pictured it... BUT actually ended up being better than you could have even ever imagined? That is where I stand today. I am 36 weeks pregnant, "FULL TERM"... 9 whole months pregnant. Technically I still have 4 weeks until my due date, but hitting this mile stone is the most incredible feeling...EVER. 

For many who have been following my blog, you already know how my journey began. For those of you who do not, you can read our story here: http://tysanddani.blogspot.com/2012/01/start-of-something-new.html . This blog has been a way for me to journal my thoughts as I have had a roller coaster journey on becoming pregnant and STAYING pregnant. I write to help me get my thoughts out on paper and I also write to give others hope through infertility and trials in general. We all go through different trials and I am grateful that we can all learn from each other's experiences. 

I had always dreamed of being pregnant and becoming a mom. I dreamed that I would have a perfect marriage, where Tyson and I would be able to have as many kids as we wanted, that we would get pregnant every other year so all of our children could be friends and close in age. I dreamed that I would have a flawless pregnancy and I would only gain 20 pounds and would have the perfect baby bump. I dreamed that I would work all the way up to my due date and have the nursery 100% completed by the time our baby would arrive. Well, let me tell you... the dream of becoming pregnant came true, but it did NOT go any way I had imagined it. 

Soon after we got married, Tyson and I learned that becoming pregnant was not going to be an easy thing for us like we imagined. We probably wont be able to have as many kids as we want and we definitely wont be getting pregnant every other year so all of our children can be close in age. I did not have a flawless pregnancy and I have gained a whole lot more weight than 20 pounds. I have been out of work for three months due to bedrest and the nursery is not even fully completed like I would like, as I am unable to run errands like I imagined. All of these things are COMPLETELY opposite of what I imagined...but I wouldn't have traded ONE thing along this journey for anything. We have learned so much from these experiences and this dream of mine has become the best reality in the world!

At 24 weeks I went into pre-term labor and had a cerclage put in to lock our baby girl inside! I will have my stitches removed tomorrow at 9am. WE ARE SO EXCITED! Most patients last about 2 weeks after the stitches are removed before they go into labor, so I am planning on her coming around New Years. I think New Years Eve would be SO fun... It would be the best end of the year gift in the whole world! I also think it would be fun to be like the movie NYE and have Laila be the first baby born in Las Vegas in 2013! :) The chances of this happening are very very slim, but it is fun to think about! The doctor said only once in his whole career has he removed stitches and the baby's FOOT popped out, so he had to re-stitch her up and do a C-Section that moment. He and I both HIGHLY doubt that will happen. Originally I was thinking she would be here around Christmas, but I am putting myself on STRICT bed rest until the day after Christmas so she doesn't come until after! My mom will be here on the 26th and then Laila can make her appearance any time after that! :) I am going to DIE if after all of this, she doesn't come until her due date which is January 17th. THAT will be crazy! But anything can happen with this girl... we have all learned that throughout the past 9 months. 

I am so excited to be a mom. I love our sweet Laila so much. She is a miracle and blesses us every day. She has already brought us more happiness than I can describe. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on our progress! Thank you all for your love and support the past few months. Your prayers have truly been felt and answered.  Next time I blog... I could be a MOM! So weird... :)

“I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

LESSONS LEARNED

This week we hit our goal of 31 weeks! This wasn't only our goal, but it was actually the doctor's goal. He told us if we make it this far, our sweet baby girl should be the healthy baby that we have been hoping and praying for, for so long. I feel so blessed and so grateful today. As I think back on the past few years leading up to this point, I realize how much I have grown from this experience. I have really learned a lot!

I have learned that life is not easy. It is actually kind of hard sometimes!

I have learned that things do not always go the way we plan... in fact, they rarely do. If plan A doesn't work, then we go on to plan B...or C... or D. Luckily, there are a lot of letters in the alphabet so we can just keep changing plans if needed.

I have learned that patience is important. It is something I don't have much of and is an attribute  I think I will always have to work on. 

I have learned that when life is too hard to stand, to kneel. This is a quote by President Hinckley, but I have learned that it is true. I remember specific moments when I would walk in the door from a doctor's appointment, crying my eyes out and before I could do anything, I would drop to my knees in prayer. I know that I couldn't have gone through everything I have, without getting on my knees. 

I have learned that trials can bring us closer to the ones we love. Tyson and I have a special bond now that we have gone through this, a bond that may not have been there had we had a baby 4 years ago. 

I have learned that everything happens for a reason. It sounds cliche, but it is a fact. 

I have learned that every prayer is answered. It sometimes isn't answered immediately and it sometimes is answered differently than we would like, but I have learned that He is there and He does comfort us when needed. 

I have learned that I have a lot to work on. I am not perfect and can do a lot better. 

I have learned that baths heal everything. If I don't feel good because my stomach hurts or if I am just really tired - a warm bath makes me feel SO much better. Who needs medicine when you have a bath? 

I have learned to have FUN when things don't go my way. For every negative pregnancy test that came our way, we would throw it in the garbage and go get ice cream or something! Tyson was much better at this than I was, but he helped me see the good in things. 

I have learned to never give up. There were times that I wanted to. There were times that I DID. After our failed IUI treatments, I told Tyson that I guess I wasn't supposed to be a mom...ever. I needed a little bit of time to heal, but luckily I was able to pick myself up and try again a year later. Never give up. 

I have learned to choose to be happy during our trials. I truly believe it is okay to be sad during hard times. I cry all the time and I think that is totally fine and healthy! I don't like crying because I look so ugly, but I think it helps me get my feelings out. But after a little while of crying or anger or sadness, I have learned how important it is to pick myself up and to carry on with a smile. Life is a lot more fun when I smile! 

I have learned that anything is possible. Don't let anyone tell you that you "CAN'T" do something. Yes, you can. It may take a lot of sacrifice and hard work. It may take a lot of time. But anything is possible. 

I have learned that miracles happen. I have one kicking me inside right now.

I have learned to be grateful. We will always have trials and hard times come our way, but it seems like to me after the craziest bumps we experience, the most incredible blessings come. 

Baby D has a NAME and her first PHOTO SHOOT

I am so grateful for the special blessing of being pregnant right now! I feel like I have learned so much through this experience and my big belly is a reminder on a daily basis of EVERYTHING we have been through the past few years. I honestly still cannot believe we have made it this far (will be 30 weeks in a few days!) and we are so grateful for this opportunity. We feel like this moment of being pregnant is so special, that we decided to go on a maternity photo shoot. My talented mother in law did SUCH a good job! I am so glad we were able to go take these pictures to capture this special moment in our lives. 

As for an update on the pregnancy and Baby D... They will remove my stitches on December 20th, which is in about 6 weeks! I will go into labor shortly after that, so we are planning on having a Christmas or New Years baby! I will continue to be on bed rest until that day comes, to prevent her from coming earlier than that!

 In addition, Baby D has a name! It could always change, but as of today it is Laila Marlie Davis. Laila is a name that Tyson has always loved and wanted to name his little girl. I fought him on it for a while and tried to tell him that I am the one that has endured everything with this pregnancy, so I deserve the honor of naming her. BUT as I have thought about it, Laila is the perfect name for our little miracle. Even though I physically have been through everything, Tyson has been by my side 100% of the way. He had faith when I was full of doubt, he smiled when I couldn't do anything but cry, he held my hand when I needed to know I wasn't alone and he truly always knew we would be parents when I was just unsure. Naming her Laila will always remind me of how strong her dad was, when I was not and I feel like it fits her PERFECT. Her middle name, Marlie, is so special to me too. This name represents the two most influential women in our lives - our MOMS. Tyson's mom, Marchelle, and my mom, Julie, are the best moms in the world. They are talented, hard working, christ-like, strong and kind women. We figured Laila would have a lot to live up to if she was named after her amazing grandma's. 

We are so excited for the next 7 weeks or so. We have a lot to do in preparation for her arrival, but can't wait to hold our sweet girl in our arms. 

NURSERY TIME!

I feel like Pinterest has changed my life. I know it sounds so weird that a website can have such an effect on a person, but I have never felt so creative and excited to try new things in my whole life. Before I was even pregnant, I had a "board" on Pinterest called "My Future Babies." On this board, I would pin my dreams and wishes of what I want my cute kids to look like and dress like and fun things to do with them. Also on this board, I would pin nursery ideas that I absolutely fell in love with. After our scare 4 weeks ago of pre-term labor, we decided we REALLY needed to get going on her nursery. She could be here anytime! I felt a little overwhelmed with all of the things we needed to get done, but I figured the nursery was a good place to start. 

Last night we were finally able to complete the paint job for her room. I am seriously SO proud of Tyson and his best friend Moose. They did such an amazing job, I don't even think we could have hired a professional to do it better! In fact, they did such a good job I told them they need to start a company. Maybe call it Big and Smalls or something? I have always loved seeing their friendship. They have been best friends FOREVER and their height difference makes me smile every time. I appreciate their hard work so much. I know Baby D is going to LOVE her cute new room! 

Here are a few pictures from last night. They were up until after midnight, so that is why I don't look too cute. A pregnant girl needs her beauty rest :) Please ignore. 

ENJOY the NOW

One of my most favorite quotes has been on my mind ALL week and it is not going away. I decided I would write it down today because it is something that has really helped me this week and I know that it has been on my mind for a reason. It goes as follows: 

"Think about your particular assignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may be to rear children in righteousness, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for and relieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the most excellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficult assignment of their own. Our assignments are varied, and they change from time to time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy, Do them with enthusiasm. Do whatever you have to do this week with your whole heart and soul. To do less than this will leave you with an empty feeling."

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Do you ever have those days where you feel like "everything is greener on the other side?" I feel like in High School, all I wanted to do was go to college and marry Tyson. Then we got married and all I wanted to do was start our family. Then I miscarried our first baby and all I wanted to do was get pregnant again. Then that didn't work out and I was very blessed in finding my career path and once again, I found myself just wanting to be pregnant. Now that I am pregnant, I find myself just wanting to have the baby. I hope I am not the only one that gets like this, or else I will feel really silly. I feel like I get this way SO easily! 

I am officially on bed rest until Baby D makes her appearance into this world. At first I thought it was going to be really difficult, but the past few weeks have been really nice. I have been able to get a lot of things done that I probably would't get done, had I been working right now. It is crazy to think our goal was to get to 28 weeks and I am 27 weeks today! Only one more week until we hit our goal. After that, our goal will be to get to 30 weeks. 

I found myself a little discouraged when my mom left. She was here for 2 weeks and it was amazing to have her help! She is such and amazing example and I really hope I can be just like her. The day she left, my house was quiet and I had a lot of time to think. That was the first day this quote popped in my mind. I may feel like I can't do much right now, but really this is an exciting time in my life! I get to make a baby and get ready for her to come into our home! 

I am so grateful for this opportunity to be pregnant. It is by far THE greatest blessing in mine and Tyson's life. She has brought us so much joy. Every night when Tyson gets home from work, we will lay on the couch and she will kick his hand. She already loves her daddy so much! 

I am grateful for this quote by Sister Hinckley. I love that we all have different assignments in our lives right now. For some it may be to go to school and to get an education. For some it may be to work hard and make money to support yourself or family. For some it may be to be a mom or dad and take care of cute babies. For some it may be to serve others in need. And for some (specifically me), it is to lay down and let this baby grow inside of me, so she can be healthy! She could come today or she could come in 11 weeks, we really don't know. But I have decided I am going to enjoy this new assignment and chapter in my life. I am going to do everything I can, every day to make this baby healthy and to try my best not to have her come early. 

I hope we all remember that we all have different assignments in our lives right now. I hope that we don't take them lightly and that we truly give them all of heart and energy! I know I am going to try a little better to enjoy the NOW and not always think that the side is greener on the other side! There is definitely a reason we have our specific assignments in our lives, why not enjoy them?! 

A quick and HAPPY thought

It has been one week since my emergency surgery and I am just feeling so grateful! This week of recovery has been going really well and I have LOVED working on projects and being with my mom. Today I had a follow up appointment at the doctor and my mom was able to come with me. They did the usual things they always do at my appointments, but this one was so special. When it came time to do the ultrasound and check baby's heartbeat - the clearest picture of our baby girl appeared on the screen. My mom and I both started crying. She was moving around like crazy and had her hands in front of her face. Her heartbeat was strong and she was completely healthy. My heart officially melted! After EVERYTHING that Tyson and I have been through this week, I was so excited to see our healthy girl, staying strong!  

It is crazy to think about everything this girl has been through. She began as an embryo inside a petri dish in Dr. Shapiro's office with the Fertility Center of Las Vegas. She survived the de-thaw process they perform on the embryos and she continued to grow inside the dish under a microscope. The doctors then put her inside of me and thankfully she connected. She quickly grew a heartbeat and little stubs as arms and legs. A few weeks later, she survived my placenta tearing and the healing process that came with that. Last week she survived my cervix almost completely opening and going into pre-term labor. She then survived an emergency surgery and has continued to survive the healing process that has come with that. And then TODAY, I got to see her so clearly. As I looked at these pictures, everything became a reality. She is OUR baby!! That is seriously something I was not sure if I was ever going to be able to say. Tyson has always had the faith we would be pregnant - he never doubted - and I now wish I had his unwavering faith in this process. I love her so much! PLUS - She already looks like her daddy, which makes me so excited! She is adorable. 

I am so grateful for our little trooper. She is our pride and joy! This journey has not been easy. It has LITERALLY been one thing after another. It was a miracle to make her and it is a miracle to have her inside of me. I have never been so excited about something. She is our angel. 

“Faith precedes the miracle. It has ever been so and shall ever be. It was not raining when Noah was commanded to build an ark. There was no visible ram in the thicket when Abraham prepared to sacrifice his son Isaac. Two heavenly personages were not yet seen when Joseph knelt and prayed. First came the test of faith–and then the miracle. Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. Cast out doubt. Cultivate faith.” - President Thomas S. Monson