I had always LOVED Mother's Day growing up. I got to draw pictures, write nice cards, make pretty flowers and do special things for my mom. It was such a nice day to be able to celebrate HER and the things she did for me.
Last May I was struggling. We had done our first round of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) a few months prior and it had failed. I was having SUCH a hard time handling it. Mother's Day was a few days away and I was completely dreading it. I felt bad because it was always a holiday that I loved and I felt like I was being very selfish. This was a day that I was supposed to celebrate my amazing mom! I shouldn't worry about ME and my feelings of not being a mom, but I honestly could not help it. I felt like ALL of my friends were either pregnant or had a newborn. I felt like we had a baby shower in the office at work almost every day. I felt like every movie we went and saw had a pregnant girl or a baby being born in it. I felt like every person on Facebook would post a picture of their cute belly growing or an ultrasound of their sweet baby in their tummy. I felt like every magazine cover was of some famous person with a big pregnant belly. I couldn't stand seeing a women smoke when they had a baby bump, when I knew that I would do anything to make my baby as healthy as possible. I found myself extremely jealous and on my knees constantly in tears. I felt so alone and did not want to celebrate a day for Moms, when the only thing in life I wanted at the time was to be one and it was being withheld from me.
On the Saturday before Mother's Day there was a knock at the door. I opened it and their laid the most beautiful roses. With the roses was a card that read: "Great things truly are worth waiting for. Happy Your my Best Friend in the Whole World Day!" I ran up the stairs and sat in Tyson's arm for a few minutes literally crying my eyes out. I had NEVER felt so loved in my life. I wasn't a mom, but I had a best friend. I had someone who cared more about me than he did about me being pregant. Don't get me wrong, Tyson wants to be a dad SO bad, but at that moment he made sure I knew that I didn't need to be a mom in order for him to love me.
From that moment, he had made a new tradition for us. Mother's Day was now Best Friends Day. It was now a day that we would celebrate each other and how grateful we are for EVERYTHING we have. Sometimes it is hard to see our blessings on a day that celebrates something we REALLY want - but because of Best Friends Day we get to see all of the many blessings that we truly have.
I love Tyson for making me feel so special on that Mother's Day. I am SO grateful for him and for always looking out for my feelings. He truly is my Best Friend and I can not wait for him to be a dad! We both continue to strive for that day to come - and we know it will! I am grateful for my Mom, Mother in law, Grandmas, sisters, aunts, cousins and friends who are the most amazing MOMS in the world!! I love their examples and I hope I can be just like them when my turn comes to be a mom.
Happy Mothers Day Mom!! AND Happy Best Friends Day Tyson!!
2 comments:
I always love reading your posts. My sister has been struggling for many years to get pregnant with many failed attempts, and is feeling probably much of the same things that you are feeling - if not exactly the same things. So your posts give me insight into her thoughts and feelings. I am confident you (and she) will be an amazing mom and I will add you to my prayers that that day will come quickly!
What a wonderful, sweet memory!! I love your new tradition. I wish I (or John) would have thought of doing something like that during the first few Mother's Days when we didn't think we'd be able to have kids. You married a keeper!! :) Love and hugs, friend!
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