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Sunday, December 30, 2012

The WAITING Game

On Thursday, December 20th, Tyson and I walked into Dr. Bohman's office. We had been waiting for this day...forever! We were there to get my stitches and cerclage removed after 12 weeks of bed rest. I was 36 weeks pregnant and "full term," therefore Laila was free to come! The procedure was only a few minutes and was a little painful, but nothing I feel like I should complain about. I was so happy that it worked! The stitches had kept her inside and safe! Without them, she would have been born at 24 weeks with a lot of complications, if she made it at all. 

My mom was scheduled to arrive at midnight on Christmas Day, so I put myself on strict bed rest for the week. Luckily, I had done all of my Christmas shopping, so I was able to just hang low for a few days. I did NOT want to go into labor without my mom being here. On Christmas morning I woke up with my first contractions that I have ever felt. I wasn't actually sure if it was just the baby in a weird position or if they were true contractions at first. They started coming and going pretty frequently, so much actually, that I realized that they were indeed contractions and not just the baby moving. Tyson and I got so excited, thinking she was going to come any second! 

Since then, my contractions have been very spontaneous and not consistent. I went in for my weekly monitoring on Thursday, and that is where I was able to actually SEE my first contraction. It was so crazy to feel it and to see it on the monitor too. My mom was with me and was SO excited about every contraction. After seeing the doctor, he let us know because they were not consistent, that that was not the day. They were about 5-10 minutes apart and he told me to just keep a close watch on them. 
I have been contracting DAILY. They come and go. Tyson's aunt said she contracted for 2 whole weeks before she went into labor, so I am trying to tell myself to not get TOO excited. Tyson wants her to come every day. I am so excited to see him become a dad. He is going to seriously be the BEST! He has been so patient the past few years and has always had so much faith for our little family. I know the day she comes will probably be the best day of his life. He always talks to Laila and tells her that its okay to come out now! But we are pretty sure she is comfortable in there and since we worked so hard to get her to stay in there, she is just obeying us and staying in there FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!

We are so excited! I can NOT believe this is actually happening. The contractions are real and this baby  inside of me is going to be here before we know it! I want her to stay in there as long as possible so she can be healthy, but at the same time we want her out so we can hold her and kiss her big lips! Whenever we get anxious, I like to sit back and think about the past few years. It took us a long time to make her, we almost lost her two times within the past few months, I had to have an emergency surgery to keep her locked in there, I was on bed rest for several months and now we want her to come RIGHT NOW. I feel like if I have learned anything from any of this, it is that everything happens when it is supposed to. We got pregnant on the Lords time and now our sweet miracle we have dreamed and hoped for will come on the Lords time. 
I told the doctor we had a poll of when she is coming, Tyson thinks New Years Eve which is tomorrow, my guess was New Years Day which is only 2 days away and the doctor guessed January 5th, which is only 6 days away! We will keep you all updated on our special girl. We worked so hard keeping her in there and now she won't come out! I am thinking at this point she isn't coming until February 1st. :) Either way... miracles happen and prayers are answered! A lot of times it is not on our time table, but it is always in Heavenly Father's... which is perfect! 

“Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich. Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

36 WEEKS - We made it!

Have you ever dreamed of something... and you picture it being a specific way... and then that dream finally becomes a reality... and it doesn't go the way you had always pictured it... BUT actually ended up being better than you could have even ever imagined? That is where I stand today. I am 36 weeks pregnant, "FULL TERM"... 9 whole months pregnant. Technically I still have 4 weeks until my due date, but hitting this mile stone is the most incredible feeling...EVER. 

For many who have been following my blog, you already know how my journey began. For those of you who do not, you can read our story here: http://tysanddani.blogspot.com/2012/01/start-of-something-new.html . This blog has been a way for me to journal my thoughts as I have had a roller coaster journey on becoming pregnant and STAYING pregnant. I write to help me get my thoughts out on paper and I also write to give others hope through infertility and trials in general. We all go through different trials and I am grateful that we can all learn from each other's experiences. 

I had always dreamed of being pregnant and becoming a mom. I dreamed that I would have a perfect marriage, where Tyson and I would be able to have as many kids as we wanted, that we would get pregnant every other year so all of our children could be friends and close in age. I dreamed that I would have a flawless pregnancy and I would only gain 20 pounds and would have the perfect baby bump. I dreamed that I would work all the way up to my due date and have the nursery 100% completed by the time our baby would arrive. Well, let me tell you... the dream of becoming pregnant came true, but it did NOT go any way I had imagined it. 

Soon after we got married, Tyson and I learned that becoming pregnant was not going to be an easy thing for us like we imagined. We probably wont be able to have as many kids as we want and we definitely wont be getting pregnant every other year so all of our children can be close in age. I did not have a flawless pregnancy and I have gained a whole lot more weight than 20 pounds. I have been out of work for three months due to bedrest and the nursery is not even fully completed like I would like, as I am unable to run errands like I imagined. All of these things are COMPLETELY opposite of what I imagined...but I wouldn't have traded ONE thing along this journey for anything. We have learned so much from these experiences and this dream of mine has become the best reality in the world!
At 24 weeks I went into pre-term labor and had a cerclage put in to lock our baby girl inside! I will have my stitches removed tomorrow at 9am. WE ARE SO EXCITED! Most patients last about 2 weeks after the stitches are removed before they go into labor, so I am planning on her coming around New Years. I think New Years Eve would be SO fun... It would be the best end of the year gift in the whole world! I also think it would be fun to be like the movie NYE and have Laila be the first baby born in Las Vegas in 2013! :) The chances of this happening are very very slim, but it is fun to think about! The doctor said only once in his whole career has he removed stitches and the baby's FOOT popped out, so he had to re-stitch her up and do a C-Section that moment. He and I both HIGHLY doubt that will happen. Originally I was thinking she would be here around Christmas, but I am putting myself on STRICT bed rest until the day after Christmas so she doesn't come until after! My mom will be here on the 26th and then Laila can make her appearance any time after that! :) I am going to DIE if after all of this, she doesn't come until her due date which is January 17th. THAT will be crazy! But anything can happen with this girl... we have all learned that throughout the past 9 months. 

I am so excited to be a mom. I love our sweet Laila so much. She is a miracle and blesses us every day. She has already brought us more happiness than I can describe. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on our progress! Thank you all for your love and support the past few months. Your prayers have truly been felt and answered.  Next time I blog... I could be a MOM! So weird... :)

“I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.” 
― Gordon B. Hinckley

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

LESSONS LEARNED

This week we hit our goal of 31 weeks! This wasn't only our goal, but it was actually the doctor's goal. He told us if we make it this far, our sweet baby girl should be the healthy baby that we have been hoping and praying for, for so long. I feel so blessed and so grateful today. As I think back on the past few years leading up to this point, I realize how much I have grown from this experience. I have really learned a lot!


I have learned that life is not easy. It is actually kind of hard sometimes!

I have learned that things do not always go the way we plan... in fact, they rarely do. If plan A doesn't work, then we go on to plan B...or C... or D. Luckily, there are a lot of letters in the alphabet so we can just keep changing plans if needed.

I have learned that patience is important. It is something I don't have much of and is an attribute  I think I will always have to work on. 

I have learned that when life is too hard to stand, to kneel. This is a quote by President Hinckley, but I have learned that it is true. I remember specific moments when I would walk in the door from a doctor's appointment, crying my eyes out and before I could do anything, I would drop to my knees in prayer. I know that I couldn't have gone through everything I have, without getting on my knees. 

I have learned that trials can bring us closer to the ones we love. Tyson and I have a special bond now that we have gone through this, a bond that may not have been there had we had a baby 4 years ago. 

I have learned that everything happens for a reason. It sounds cliche, but it is a fact. 

I have learned that every prayer is answered. It sometimes isn't answered immediately and it sometimes is answered differently than we would like, but I have learned that He is there and He does comfort us when needed. 

I have learned that I have a lot to work on. I am not perfect and can do a lot better. 

I have learned that baths heal everything. If I don't feel good because my stomach hurts or if I am just really tired - a warm bath makes me feel SO much better. Who needs medicine when you have a bath? 

I have learned to have FUN when things don't go my way. For every negative pregnancy test that came our way, we would throw it in the garbage and go get ice cream or something! Tyson was much better at this than I was, but he helped me see the good in things. 

I have learned to never give up. There were times that I wanted to. There were times that I DID. After our failed IUI treatments, I told Tyson that I guess I wasn't supposed to be a mom...ever. I needed a little bit of time to heal, but luckily I was able to pick myself up and try again a year later. Never give up. 

I have learned to choose to be happy during our trials. I truly believe it is okay to be sad during hard times. I cry all the time and I think that is totally fine and healthy! I don't like crying because I look so ugly, but I think it helps me get my feelings out. But after a little while of crying or anger or sadness, I have learned how important it is to pick myself up and to carry on with a smile. Life is a lot more fun when I smile! 

I have learned that anything is possible. Don't let anyone tell you that you "CAN'T" do something. Yes, you can. It may take a lot of sacrifice and hard work. It may take a lot of time. But anything is possible. 

I have learned that miracles happen. I have one kicking me inside right now.

I have learned to be grateful. We will always have trials and hard times come our way, but it seems like to me after the craziest bumps we experience, the most incredible blessings come. 


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Baby D has a NAME and her first PHOTO SHOOT

I am so grateful for the special blessing of being pregnant right now! I feel like I have learned so much through this experience and my big belly is a reminder on a daily basis of EVERYTHING we have been through the past few years. I honestly still cannot believe we have made it this far (will be 30 weeks in a few days!) and we are so grateful for this opportunity. We feel like this moment of being pregnant is so special, that we decided to go on a maternity photo shoot. My talented mother in law did SUCH a good job! I am so glad we were able to go take these pictures to capture this special moment in our lives. 

As for an update on the pregnancy and Baby D... They will remove my stitches on December 20th, which is in about 6 weeks! I will go into labor shortly after that, so we are planning on having a Christmas or New Years baby! I will continue to be on bed rest until that day comes, to prevent her from coming earlier than that!

 In addition, Baby D has a name! It could always change, but as of today it is Laila Marlie Davis. Laila is a name that Tyson has always loved and wanted to name his little girl. I fought him on it for a while and tried to tell him that I am the one that has endured everything with this pregnancy, so I deserve the honor of naming her. BUT as I have thought about it, Laila is the perfect name for our little miracle. Even though I physically have been through everything, Tyson has been by my side 100% of the way. He had faith when I was full of doubt, he smiled when I couldn't do anything but cry, he held my hand when I needed to know I wasn't alone and he truly always knew we would be parents when I was just unsure. Naming her Laila will always remind me of how strong her dad was, when I was not and I feel like it fits her PERFECT. Her middle name, Marlie, is so special to me too. This name represents the two most influential women in our lives - our MOMS. Tyson's mom, Marchelle, and my mom, Julie, are the best moms in the world. They are talented, hard working, christ-like, strong and kind women. We figured Laila would have a lot to live up to if she was named after her amazing grandma's. 

We are so excited for the next 7 weeks or so. We have a lot to do in preparation for her arrival, but can't wait to hold our sweet girl in our arms. 















Friday, October 26, 2012

NURSERY TIME!

I feel like Pinterest has changed my life. I know it sounds so weird that a website can have such an effect on a person, but I have never felt so creative and excited to try new things in my whole life. Before I was even pregnant, I had a "board" on Pinterest called "My Future Babies." On this board, I would pin my dreams and wishes of what I want my cute kids to look like and dress like and fun things to do with them. Also on this board, I would pin nursery ideas that I absolutely fell in love with. After our scare 4 weeks ago of pre-term labor, we decided we REALLY needed to get going on her nursery. She could be here anytime! I felt a little overwhelmed with all of the things we needed to get done, but I figured the nursery was a good place to start. 

Last night we were finally able to complete the paint job for her room. I am seriously SO proud of Tyson and his best friend Moose. They did such an amazing job, I don't even think we could have hired a professional to do it better! In fact, they did such a good job I told them they need to start a company. Maybe call it Big and Smalls or something? I have always loved seeing their friendship. They have been best friends FOREVER and their height difference makes me smile every time. I appreciate their hard work so much. I know Baby D is going to LOVE her cute new room! 

Here are a few pictures from last night. They were up until after midnight, so that is why I don't look too cute. A pregnant girl needs her beauty rest :) Please ignore. 













Thursday, October 18, 2012

ENJOY the NOW

One of my most favorite quotes has been on my mind ALL week and it is not going away. I decided I would write it down today because it is something that has really helped me this week and I know that it has been on my mind for a reason. It goes as follows: 

"Think about your particular assignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may be to rear children in righteousness, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for and relieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the most excellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficult assignment of their own. Our assignments are varied, and they change from time to time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy, Do them with enthusiasm. Do whatever you have to do this week with your whole heart and soul. To do less than this will leave you with an empty feeling."
-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Do you ever have those days where you feel like "everything is greener on the other side?" I feel like in High School, all I wanted to do was go to college and marry Tyson. Then we got married and all I wanted to do was start our family. Then I miscarried our first baby and all I wanted to do was get pregnant again. Then that didn't work out and I was very blessed in finding my career path and once again, I found myself just wanting to be pregnant. Now that I am pregnant, I find myself just wanting to have the baby. I hope I am not the only one that gets like this, or else I will feel really silly. I feel like I get this way SO easily! 

I am officially on bed rest until Baby D makes her appearance into this world. At first I thought it was going to be really difficult, but the past few weeks have been really nice. I have been able to get a lot of things done that I probably would't get done, had I been working right now. It is crazy to think our goal was to get to 28 weeks and I am 27 weeks today! Only one more week until we hit our goal. After that, our goal will be to get to 30 weeks. 
I found myself a little discouraged when my mom left. She was here for 2 weeks and it was amazing to have her help! She is such and amazing example and I really hope I can be just like her. The day she left, my house was quiet and I had a lot of time to think. That was the first day this quote popped in my mind. I may feel like I can't do much right now, but really this is an exciting time in my life! I get to make a baby and get ready for her to come into our home! 

I am so grateful for this opportunity to be pregnant. It is by far THE greatest blessing in mine and Tyson's life. She has brought us so much joy. Every night when Tyson gets home from work, we will lay on the couch and she will kick his hand. She already loves her daddy so much! 
I am grateful for this quote by Sister Hinckley. I love that we all have different assignments in our lives right now. For some it may be to go to school and to get an education. For some it may be to work hard and make money to support yourself or family. For some it may be to be a mom or dad and take care of cute babies. For some it may be to serve others in need. And for some (specifically me), it is to lay down and let this baby grow inside of me, so she can be healthy! She could come today or she could come in 11 weeks, we really don't know. But I have decided I am going to enjoy this new assignment and chapter in my life. I am going to do everything I can, every day to make this baby healthy and to try my best not to have her come early. 

I hope we all remember that we all have different assignments in our lives right now. I hope that we don't take them lightly and that we truly give them all of heart and energy! I know I am going to try a little better to enjoy the NOW and not always think that the side is greener on the other side! There is definitely a reason we have our specific assignments in our lives, why not enjoy them?! 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

A quick and HAPPY thought

It has been one week since my emergency surgery and I am just feeling so grateful! This week of recovery has been going really well and I have LOVED working on projects and being with my mom. Today I had a follow up appointment at the doctor and my mom was able to come with me. They did the usual things they always do at my appointments, but this one was so special. When it came time to do the ultrasound and check baby's heartbeat - the clearest picture of our baby girl appeared on the screen. My mom and I both started crying. She was moving around like crazy and had her hands in front of her face. Her heartbeat was strong and she was completely healthy. My heart officially melted! After EVERYTHING that Tyson and I have been through this week, I was so excited to see our healthy girl, staying strong!  


It is crazy to think about everything this girl has been through. She began as an embryo inside a petri dish in Dr. Shapiro's office with the Fertility Center of Las Vegas. She survived the de-thaw process they perform on the embryos and she continued to grow inside the dish under a microscope. The doctors then put her inside of me and thankfully she connected. She quickly grew a heartbeat and little stubs as arms and legs. A few weeks later, she survived my placenta tearing and the healing process that came with that. Last week she survived my cervix almost completely opening and going into pre-term labor. She then survived an emergency surgery and has continued to survive the healing process that has come with that. And then TODAY, I got to see her so clearly. As I looked at these pictures, everything became a reality. She is OUR baby!! That is seriously something I was not sure if I was ever going to be able to say. Tyson has always had the faith we would be pregnant - he never doubted - and I now wish I had his unwavering faith in this process. I love her so much! PLUS - She already looks like her daddy, which makes me so excited! She is adorable. 

I am so grateful for our little trooper. She is our pride and joy! This journey has not been easy. It has LITERALLY been one thing after another. It was a miracle to make her and it is a miracle to have her inside of me. I have never been so excited about something. She is our angel. 

“Faith precedes the miracle. It has ever been so and shall ever be. It was not raining when Noah was commanded to build an ark. There was no visible ram in the thicket when Abraham prepared to sacrifice his son Isaac. Two heavenly personages were not yet seen when Joseph knelt and prayed. First came the test of faith–and then the miracle. Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. Cast out doubt. Cultivate faith.” - President Thomas S. Monson 

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Blessing #1,237,984 and counting...

Last Sunday I was talking to a friend at church and I was telling her how everything has been going SO well. For the past few weeks I have been off bed rest and I have been feeling great! I told her though that things almost seemed like they were going TOO well in my life and I knew something was going to happen in the near future. I sincerely feel like every time I get in my comfort zone and everything seems to be going right - something happens, so I learn to humble myself again. WELL - I was right. 

On Tuesday morning I started experiencing a lot of pressure on my lower abdomen. It bothered me, but it wasn't hurting that bad, so I ignored it. The pressure did not go away all day and continued on Wednesday. I asked my sister if she experienced pressure when she was pregnant and she said she had. I asked a few co-workers if they had experienced pressure when they were pregnant and all said they had. So I continued to ignore the pain as I figured it was "normal." On Thursday morning the pressure was not gone and I noticed it was even hurting a little bit now. I had a very strong feeling something may not be right. Before I went to work, I prayed to Heavenly Father. I let him know that I was okay if something was going on that wasn't right (again!), but I did not want to go to the doctor and look dumb for calling about something that was not that serious. I prayed and asked IF I was supposed to call the doctor that day, please have something happen so I know it is the right thing to do. Not more than an hour later, I was walking to my 9am meeting at work, when I experienced the worst pain in my lower abdomen area. The pressure was intense and I could barely even walk. I knew at that moment, it was an answer to my prayer. THIS is what I prayed for. I needed to follow the spirit and call the doctor. I had looked up the symptoms on Google and the majority of the people on the websites I had browsed said that the pressure was probably just the baby's head pressing on my pelvic bone and not to worry, my sister and co-workers had experienced the pain so I thought I shouldn't worry - BUT I knew at that moment I needed to call the doctor. 

I called the doctor and they had me come in. They also advised me not to ever look up things like this on Google, which I am completely guilty of on almost a daily basis. My doctor unfortunately was at a conference, so I was seen by another doctor. The ultrasound tech came in and took her less than 10 seconds to tell me what she was looking at. In a kind, yet concerned voice, she said "It is a very good thing you listened to your body today and came in. Your cervix is almost completely open. It is only closed by 1.2 centimeters." I took a VERY deep breath and was tough. I was so proud of myself I wasn't crying at this point. She went and got the doctor as I sat in the cold doctor's office, looking at the ultrasound in front of me. I was all by myself and tears slowly filled my eyes. I wasn't crying because of what she had said, I was crying because I knew that Heavenly Father was watching over me and led me to the doctor that day. 

The doctor came in and was very sincere. I will never forget what he said! He looked me in the eye and said, "It is a MIRACLE you are here today. I am so proud of you for coming in and listening to your body. Had you not come in, you would probably have had a baby this weekend." I completely lost it. Everything leading up to this point in my pregnancy has been a miracle and that day was a miracle in itself. He explained that we would have to perform an emergency surgery the following day, by stitching my cervix completely closed so I would not continue on with pre-term labor. This is called an incompetent cervix. The doctor left the room to call my doctor who was at a conference and I called Tyson immediately. Tyson could barely understand what I was saying through my emotions. The doctor came back into the room no more than 5 minutes later and explained that my doctor, Dr. Bohman, did not want to wait over night. It was too risky and we needed to perform the surgery immediately. He also said that Dr. Bohman wanted to do the surgery himself and would leave his conference for me. I love my doctor. I REALLY do. 
It was a little crazy after that. NO hospitals had room for me that night. I felt like I was Mary and Joseph when all of the inns would not let them in because "they had no room." The nurse called several hospitals and I heard her tell each of them... "You dont understand! If you don't fit her in, she is going to have a baby tonight!" I appreciated their support and willingness to fight for me that day. They finally found a room at St. Rose San Martin Hospital. That is the hospital I plan to deliver at anyways, so it worked out just fine. I was admitted into the hospital at 5pm and surgery was at 7:15pm. 

They hooked me up to several machines to monitor baby and my heart rates. They gave me an IV with fluids and medication. Tyson was right by my side and we talked about how often our plans change. We were not planning on spending our Thursday evening in the hospital, trying to save our little baby. Tyson's parents came to support us and it was so nice of them to stay the whole time. They waited in the waiting room with Tyson as I was wheeled off to the Operation Room. They put a needle in my spine, very similar to an epidural. It numbed my whole bottom half of my body. It was so weird being awake for the procedure. I have had several surgeries in my life, and I would definitely prefer to be knocked out. I did not like being awake for the whole thing and not having control over my body. They tipped the bed almost completely upside down and performed the cervical cerclage. I was grateful to have an amazing doctor, who left his conference to perform the surgery that night for us! I was so grateful to be in his guided hands. 
Recovery has been just fine. They monitored baby and contractions for a few hours that night. I was having contractions every 7 minutes, so they gave me a shot to stop them. Thursday night was probably the longest night we have had in our lives. We were able to check out of the hospital a little after midnight and we were home by 1am. I experienced a lot of pain that night and was up at least every hour. I am on bed rest for the next two weeks, if not longer. 
I have never felt so blessed. I have never felt so humbled. I have never felt so happy. I can't imagine what would have happened this weekend, had I not gone into the doctor that day. We could have a baby right now, who possibly could not have made it, as I am only 24 weeks and 3 days. There have been so many blessings that we have seen the past few days. We also found out they do not perform this surgery after 25 weeks, so we literally made the cut-off by days. As much as we want this baby girl here with us, we want her to be fully grown and healthy! I am so glad she is locked in there for a little longer and hopefully will continue to push through these crazy circumstances that seem to come our way. She is our trooper! She is our miracle! 

I am grateful for all of the many prayers and support that we have felt the past few days. My mother and father in law who were at the hospital and also brought special treats for us yesterday, my sister who brought me lunch, my friend Jen who brought me beautiful flowers, all of my friends and family who have texted and called, and of course my MOM who surprised me ALL THE WAY from Hawaii! When I told her I was going into surgery, she booked the first flight from Hawaii to Vegas yesterday. She arrived last night and I could not be happier!! She is such an angel and has ALWAYS put her children first. I hope I can be half the mom she is to me!! 
I love Tyson so much and am so grateful for his love too. I have never met anyone so patient and understanding. As frustrating as these situations are for me, I know they are JUST as frustrating for him. He blesses me when needed and holds my hand every step of the way. The first night we were home from the hospital, I slept on the couch and woke up to him sleeping on the floor right next to me. He could have gone up to our comfortable bed, but he wanted to be by my side. I love him and I love the love he has for our baby girl. I am looking forward to a few more days of sleepovers on our mattress downstairs, until I can walk up the stairs again. He is the best husband and daddy I could have asked for! 
Our trials never end. We can always become better! There is always room for us to grow and learn. I had a feeling the day I got pregnant that our trials with infertility and trying to start our family was not over. It is STILL not over. I know that things are going to continue to happen - guaranteed. But I am grateful to know that we are being watched over constantly and our prayers are answered. I am grateful for the holy ghost that led me to the doctor that day. I know, just like the doctor said, that it was a MIRACLE I came into his office that day. I hope I can continue to listen to those promptings and that ALL of us going through trials will be in tune to those feelings and whispers leading us to where we are supposed to go. 

"Sometime in the eternities to come, we will see that our trials were calculated to cause us to turn to our Heavenly Father for strength and support. Any affliction or suffering we are called upon to bear may be directed to give us experience, refinement, and perfection." 
--Delbert L. Stapley

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A Mommy Moment

I LOVE Sundays. I love getting up in the morning and turning my Pandora station to church music. I love singing while I get ready, especially church songs! I love going to church and listening to the speakers in Sacrament. I love teaching my Sunday School class and the things my teenagers teach me. I love the spirit that I feel in Relief Society and the friendships I am making. I love coming home and eating Mac N cheese for lunch with Tyson. It is seriously our Sunday tradition... obsessed. I love relaxing until 5pm, when we go to our family Sunday Dinner. It is my favorite day. It is so relaxing, I get to be with the hubs all day and get to feel the spirit. 


I am SERIOUSLY pregnant. This morning while I was getting ready, the song I Am a Child of God came on my Pandora station. I love that song, but this morning when it came on I really listened to it. It says, "I am a child of God, And he has sent me here, Has given me an earthly home, With parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do, To live with him someday." I started crying!! I know... PREGNANT to the max, right? I was overwhelmed by the feeling I had. I KNOW that I am a child of God and he gave me an earthly home, with AMAZING parents. My mom and dad are the reason I am, who I am, today. And in a few months, I will have the responsibility of being a mom just like my mom was to me! And Tyson will have the responsibility of being a dad, just like my dad was to me! It is SO exciting... and a little overwhelming. 

For the past four years as we have struggled to get pregnant, I have watched my sisters, friends and co-workers, get pregnant, have babies and become mothers. I have watched them celebrate the happiest moments of their lives and I have seen them struggle and cry during their hardest trials, while being a mom. I am grateful for their examples and have learned a lot from them. I have learned from many of you that read my blog, even if you do not know. I have watched you and have learned from you. I am grateful for the mothers in my life and I hope I can be as good of a mom as you are! 

I was on bed rest for about 4 weeks and am so happy to be off! I am on semi-bed rest now, so I get to go to work (SO HAPPY!), but still need to "take it easy". My belly grows DAILY and the best day of my life was the day I FINALLY felt her move. I wish you could start feeling the baby inside of you at 8 weeks... not 21 weeks! Getting to this point has taken FOREVER I feel like. I love her and I can't wait for Tyson to get to feel her!! It is amazing how much I already love her. I would do anything for this little girl... ANYTHING! When I was on bed rest, I kept telling myself that this was only the beginning of changing my life for her. I wanted to go to work and to go shopping! I wanted to have date night and go to the gym! But I was sacrificing those "wants" of mine... for this baby girl! And I am totally okay with it. 


 Tyson and I went on a walk around the block the other night. It was dark out, but the street lights caused it so you could see our shadows on the wall. I was looking at our shadows and could NOT get over how big my belly was. I told Tyson to look at our shadows - I told him that I honestly never thought that I would be pregnant. I always had faith that I would be a mom - but I wasn't sure if we were going to adopt for that to happen. I just starred at my shadow as we talked about the past few years. Tyson said he always knew that I would be pregnant one day. I have never known anyone with so much faith. I still can't believe I am pregnant honestly. I look at myself daily and thank Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be pregnant. What a blessing! 

I saw this video today about motherhood and wanted to share it. What an amazing opportunity we have as women to be moms and as men to be dads! I know that being a mom is going to be tough, but I can't wait! I hope I can be a mom JUST like my mom. She taught me everything I know and loved me unconditionally. Tyson and I have dedicated our lives to this girl the past few years and she STILL isn't even here yet! I can't wait for her to be here and for Tyson and I to be able to raise her in our home and show her how much we love her every single day. 


"To the women within the sound of my voice who dearly want to be mothers and are not, I say through your tears and ours on that subject, God will yet, in days that lie somewhere ahead, bring “hope to the desolate heart.” As prophets have repeatedly taught from this pulpit, ultimately “no blessing shall be withheld” from the faithful, even if those blessings do not come immediately. " - Jeffrey R. Holland

Thursday, August 16, 2012

To EVERY THING there is a SEASON

The weirdest thing in life is when you have a plan and you slowly see your plan NOT coming to pass. Does that happen to anyone besides me? I feel like my whole entire life has been like that. I have a set plan and I just KNOW with all of my heart it is going to go exactly how I have planned and then that day comes. That day when something happens that turns my plan upside-down completely. It has happened a LOT in my life and it definitely continues...almost daily. If I have learned anything the past 25 years of life, it is to roll with the punches. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Even if that "thing" was not anywhere on our time line! 

As I mentioned in a few posts back, they found tears in my placenta and I was put on full bed rest for one week. I then went to work for a week while on "semi-bed rest" and then they put me on full bed rest last Monday. I had a really hard time last Monday when I got into my car and looked at the letter Dr. Bohman had written to my employer. "Danielle Davis is to be excused from work for the REMAINDER OF HER PREGNANCY due to complications." I think I read the letter 10 times. It could not sink in! Bed Rest? For 5 months? I seriously started crying in the car. I told Tyson I couldn't do it. THIS was not part of my plan! My plan was to work until the day Baby D was due and to save all of our money over the next 6 months from my paychecks and bonus's. I think the doctor is confused, I told Tyson. There is no way I can be bed ridden for that long. If you know me personally, you know I am very outgoing and can not stand not having a social life. I love my job and I love having my girl time. I love date nights and going on fun adventures with Tyson. I love Summer and the vacations we have had planned. This was just a dream or a mean joke... I just knew it! 
I told Tyson I wasn't going to listen to the doctor. I told him I was going to work because that was MY plan. We pulled out of the parking lot of the doctor's office and we began driving. I just went on and on about how this was not a good idea and Tyson was a good listener to my ranting. After much conversation and we pulled into Tyson's work parking lot for him to be dropped off, we had come to the conclusion that the doctor INDEED did know best. Even though bed rest for the rest of my LIFE (at least that is what it feels like) was not at all in our plans during this pregnancy, we had to roll with the punches. I sat in Tyson's parking lot and called my boss. I told him the news and he was so understanding. I am so grateful to have a boss who cares about my well-being and my baby. He told me not to come in and that we will figure out the paper work that had to be done. 

The next day there were a lot of phone calls and paper work to be filled out. I put on my leave of absence papers that I were to return to work on September 4th... that gives my body 4 weeks to heal. I felt like that was acceptable. That was when I got a call from HR who let me know I put September 4th, but my doctor put January 17, 2013 and they had to go with what the doctor put. That was when it sunk in. THIS is real. I don't really think I am going to be able to go back to work. THAT was when I became upset. 

I called Tyson and told him how frustrated I was. The past 3 weeks I have had such high hopes that I was going to be able to get off bed rest sooner than January and it seems like that is probably not the case. I layed in my bed and felt SO sorry for myself for a few minutes and that was when I realized I needed to pick myself up. Are you serious right now? I am upset about being on bed rest for a few months? I wasn't looking at my blessings! I was so focused on this one little thing, that I didn't focus on the amazing blessings... specifically the miracle who's heart is beating inside of me!! 

I am SO grateful to be pregnant. After so many trials and hard times to get to this point, I am beyond blessed. I have a sweet baby girl that is growing a healthy little body inside of me! I have a home that I get to spend all day in, with air conditioning and television and internet and books! I have the most comfortable bed in the world and if I have to lay down, I am so lucky I get to lay down in something so comfy! I have food in my refrigerator that I get to eat when I am hungry and can't drive to the grocery store! I have a husband who takes care of EVERYTHING in my life 24/7 and loves me even though I don't do ANYTHING! I have amazing friends and family who have visited, brought in meals and just contacted me to see how Baby D and I are doing! I have so much to be thankful for! The doctor told me that I can either go back to work now and be admitted into the hospital at 25 weeks (which is less than 2 months away!!) or I can go on bed rest now and hope that everything clears up. How lucky am I?! They caught this soon enough that I get to lay in my own bed, in my own home! I am SO grateful I don't have to live in the hospital. 

Even though things happen in our lives that seem a little crazy and almost the exact OPPOSITE that we had planned, happen for reasons. I know that a lot of times Heavenly Father's plan is not what we had planned...and I have slowly learned that THAT IS OKAY! There truly is a time and a season for everything. For some reason, I wasn't supposed to be a mom 4 years ago, when that was my plan my whole life... to get married and have tons of babies! For some reason, I was supposed to start a great career and become a career woman at a beautiful hotel, even though my plan was to be a stay at home mom and take care of all of my babies I was supposed to have! For some reason, I am supposed to be on bed rest and lay at my house and not work or go on the vacations we have had planned, even though my plan was to work so hard and make all of the money in the world for this baby! I know that there is a reason for everything, even if we don't see the reason immediately. I feel SO blessed to have been able to learn this and to KNOW that it is true. He loves us and His plan is far better than ours. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
" To every thing there is a aseason, and a btime to every purpose under the heaven: atime to be born, and a time to bdie; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to alaugh; a time to bmourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to aget, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to arend, and a time to sew; a time to keep bsilence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to ahate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

Saturday, August 11, 2012

ITS...A...GIRL!!!

About a year ago I heard of the funnest party ever... A Gender Reveal Party! The party is a fun way to find out if the baby you are expecting is a boy or girl, and you get to find out with all of your friends and family! I wasn't even pregnant when I heard about the idea and I honestly didn't even know if I would ever have the opportunity to have one. It was a dream that I had and thought about it all of the time, but seemed so far away that I put it to the side. 

When we found out we were pregnant 4 months ago, I was so excited to have my own Gender Reveal Party! It was actually going to happen! My dream party was going to come true. I decided I would wait to have in October when all of my family from Hawaii and Utah would be able to make it too. On Monday, August 6th I had a doctor's appointment. Everything was going well I thought and I assumed the appointment was going to go smoothly. I left the appointment with a lot of mixed emotions. I had good news and bad news. The good news: THEY SAW THE SEX OF THE BABY! Because of the Reveal Party, we had the doctor write the gender on the ultrasound and put it into a sealed envelope. We didn't peak and we hid it in my glove box in my car so we wouldn't be tempted to take a look. The bad news: I WAS PUT ON FULL BED REST! This time, I had to file for a leave of absence at work because I am not sure how long it will be and I can only get up to use the restroom. 

I left with a lot of mixed emotions. I was so excited to know the sex of the baby, but because of the bed rest I was really upset. I decided the one thing that would probably make me feel better and not make me so emotional about laying in my bed for the rest of my life (that is what it feels like) I wanted to find out the sex THIS WEEK! I couldn't wait until October like I originally had planned. As much as I wanted my whole family there, I figured we could all Skype in and be together. With everything that has been happening in the pregnancy, I thought it would be really nice to know the sex so I could start shopping and looking at cute things! 

I told Tyson we were just going to open the envelope with all of our families and it would be fine. My dream of having the Reveal Party was not realistic in my eyes. I am on bed rest and I really can't do much. That was when Tyson spoke up. He told me that I was crazy. He reminded me that I had been looking forward to the Gender Reveal Party for SUCH a long time and this was my chance to do it.  We went back and forth because I was very stubborn about the situation. I told him I wanted to "go BIG or not do it at all." I had plans for us to invite everyone we know and to go all out on decor and games and make it the biggest party of the year! I wanted it to be a huge success and I knew I couldn't make it that way anymore with my condition. He understood I wouldn't be able to do much, but HE VOLUNTEERED to take charge. (Is he NOT the best?!) He took charge and did his thing. He went to SEVERAL stores every single night after work, buying crafts, decor and food. He contacted his mom who offered her home for the party. And we decided we would just do a small party with our family and a few families from our ward who have been so helpful while I have been on bed rest. 

I made an invitation and emailed them out on Tuesday. The invitation stated to be sure to wear a BLUE or PINK shirt, depending on your vote for a boy or girl.


Tyson and my mother in law did an amazing job with the decorations! We had an ice cream bar with cake pops and candy. 








I saw these HERSHEY's bar favors on Pinterest, so I of course had to make them! 


We had a corner for name suggestions, a sign to sign your name for your "vote" and we played an Old Wives Tale game. 


We then split into our two teams! I totally thought it was a boy and Tyson thought it was a girl. I made mustaches for the team who thought it was a boy and lips for the team who thought it was girl. They also got to wear blue or pink beads depending on their vote. 


We gave the envelope the doctor had wrote the gender on, to my mother in law. She filled up the box with pink or blue balloons depending on what the envelope said. We were SO excited for this moment!! We opened the box... 



and out came PINK BALLOONS! It is a GIRL!! 






I was seriously SO shocked. This whole time on my blog and scrapbook I have been calling HER a HIM! I am so excited and have secretly been hoping for a girl. I just feel like girls are so cute and you can dress them up SO fun! You better believe this girl is going to be all dolled up in her necklaces and bracelets. I convinced myself that it was a boy, so it is hard to get that out of my mind! I am still in shock and I still cry when I think about it. 

I was so grateful for all our family and friends who were able to be in town and support us on this special day. We were so lucky to have my parents in Hawaii, brother Kyle and his family in Utah and our friends Katie and Moose in Texas on Skype. Unfortunately, the network died (overload on the internet!) BUT luckily they were there in spirit for a minute. :) I was sad that they all couldn't make it, but was so grateful for modern technology!! 

I am SO grateful that Tyson and my mother in-law were able to help this party go down. Without them, I would have opened up the envelope all by myself and not have had the party. It was so nice to get out of the house, even though all I did at the party was sit on the couch. The party may have been smaller than I wanted and I may have not been able to be a fun hostess like I had planned, but Tyson MADE the party happen! He knew it was something that was important to me, so he ran with it. Thank you Tyson and Shelly! You guys made me so happy!

I can NOT wait to be a mom. I can NOT wait for girls nights, sleepovers, manicures, pedicures, jewelry, barbies, headbands, flowers, shopping, and having a little angel in our home, because of this little girl. She is truly our miracle baby and we are so grateful for the happiness she has already brought into our lives! 


Here is a video Tyson put together about the night. He is so talented and he is so excited "for his little princess."